Please say what I want and need to hear … A plea for an AMEN Moment

Though I am sure that most rabbis are putting the final touches on their sermons for the coming YAMIM NORA’IM, I cannot help but hope that some might find room on their many pages for words that show that they are listening to us and not talking at us.

What do I mean? After over 40 years in the pulpit (if you include my time as a student) I now find myself as a “Jew in the pew.” When I attend a service I want to be inspired, I want to hear some Torah … I want NEHEMTAH: I want to be able to go into the KIDDUSH feeling a little bit better (more uplifted) than when I came in. For the most part those were the goals that I kept in front of me whenever crafting a message. I did not always succeed, but at least the effort was in the right place.

I remember one year walking around the synagogue office (we employed a fair number of people) asking each person (Jew and non-Jew) what they thought I should speak about … i.e. what did they want to hear? The answer was virtually the same: each wanted me to speak about the importance of “community.” They did not mean “Federation” who thought they owned the term and once even called me to task because I advertised a “Community Shabbat Dinner” instead of “Congregational Shabbat Dinner.” No, they were talking about the need to belong to something greater than themselves … and feel as if they were needed and appreciated by that “greater than themselves” as well. In essence, what I heard myself being asked to speak about was how each person (they themselves) mattered. And, especially now as a “recovering rabbi” (a term a fellow congregant uses to describe me, and introduce me to newcomers), I would most definitely answer my questin as did my staff so many years ago. Considering that the question was asked before social media and the environment in which we live became so toxic the need is even greater.

So what do I want/need to hear …

• I want to first hear words that will inspire me. None of us are prophets with the license to rebuke persons, places or things for anything they may or may not have done over the past year. Share with me a story about good deeds that do not go unpunished!
• I want to hear about how important it is for us to be together as we are … how we should appreciate the opportunities these days give us to reflect on where we have been since the last time we were together, and how we can find the courage to ensure that we pick up on all that was good in order to go from strength to strength.
• I want to hear that if I am hurting or lonely or confused that that is “OK” … that I am not alone … that I can/should embrace those feelings so I can find that which will enable me to move forward.
• I want to hear words of Torah. Tell me how the texts with which we are engaged (liturgical and scriptural) can serve as guardrails for keeping me “on the DERECH” … living so I can make my little piece of the world even better.
• I want to hear about how and where I can strengthen my commitment to living Judaism. Share with me something about a MITZVAH or two that I can do better.
• I want to hear what I can do in the face of the remnant and violent antisemitism that we are experiencing. How can/should I live my life proudly as a Jew. What can/should I do to fight back? Help me feel that it is good to be a Jew, and to express such feelings outwardly.

What I don’t want to hear?

• I do not want to hear about how awful the world is, and how broken and confusing it is out there. I already know that. HOWEVER, I am trying to make the best of it. Help me see the reasons why I should! And the way that I can.
• I do not want to hear your analysis of any political or social concerns. I have already read and heard enough, there is nothing new or different that you can tell me.
• I especially do not want to hear criticism of Israel or other streams of Jewish observance. After all the years (generations) of being taught that the reason for being Jewish was the pride I should have that Israel reemerged as a nation among so many others (and a little bit of guilt for not living there myself) as well as a “healthy” dose of awareness of the SHOAH (grieving for the victims, swearing that they will never be forgotten and standing with determination to be a new and different type of Jew – a Jew who will fight for our survival), why are you changing your mind? Besides (dare I even say it?!) context is everything, we are living in but one moment of history … How did we get here? What are the consequences of that which we suggest? Whose story is this … ours or “HIS”?

I believe that there is good reason why so many of our congregations refer to the room in which we DAVEN as a “Sanctuary.” It is meant to guard us from anything or everything that would distract us from the tasks then at hand. It is meant to protect us from evils so we can focus on the blessings that are ours. It is meant to provide us with words (experiences) that will make my own … my prayers … that much more meaningful.

Every year as I sat down to prepare my remarks for these so very special days, before putting pen to paper or finger to keyboard, I would always ask myself “Why?” What is so important about that particular topic? I do not have that much time or opportunity to get my message across. What do I really want to say that will encourage those who are there to feel inspired/strengthened to be Jews and want to make their new year everything they want it to be? What can I say that they will take home in such a way that it will encourage them to want to come back at least next year?!

I would ask: “Why” … What do those Jews in the pews want/need to hear?

I would then remember the most important lesson I ever learned in homiletics: Never give a sermon you are not giving to yourself. The second most important: If you haven’t struck oil in 15-20 minutes, stop boring!

I would listen … and then begin to write.

May we all have a year of HEALTH … Happiness … and Peace. A year where all our prayers are heard, and answered for the good.