Rav Avi’s Reflections of Areivut from Sydney – #3
Monday, December 22nd
Monday Morning; We attend the funeral of Dan Elkayam, a French Jew who became a soccer player. Throughout the funeral, I think of our grandchildren, Moshe and Zalman – children of our Dov and Shayndi – who love soccer and see players as their heroes.
The presiding rabbi tells the story of Dan, who was not only a great player but a true mensch. Once, after being tripped by an opponent – an incident that often escalates into confrontation – Dan rose from the ground and reached out to hug the one who had tripped him.
Rabbi Dadon, whose 14 year old daughter Chaya was injured in the attack, invited me to recite a teaching from Pirkei Avot: It is not upon us to finish the work, but neither are we free to desist from it. I add that Dan started his work through the goodness he brought to others through soccer, and now it is up to us to continue it – to live his legacy of pure goodness and love of life.
We visit the shiva of Rabbi Eli Schlanger, described by many as the ultimate giver. Upon entering, I meet his brother Baruch, who immediately tells me that we are connected. Unbeknownst to me, he spent many years with his family in Manhattan Beach and knew my wife Toby’s sister Sue, her husband Yerucham, and their children well. He reels off their names – Shlomo, Yosef, Yitzi… Right there in the shiva house I call Sue – and they speak.
We share with Eli’s sister that one of the closest relationships in Torah is between brother and sister. Perhaps for that reason, Abraham says to Sarah upon entering Egypt, “Imri na achoti at” – say you are my sister – because the bond between siblings can never be severed.
Most searing is spending time with Rav Eli’s eldest. There are so many layers to this tragedy: the horror of how low human beings can sink, and the devastation of families – wives becoming widows, children becoming orphans.
From there, we spend time with Chana, married to a Chabad rabbi and, God willing, finishing Maharat this year. Her journey to semikha is compelling. She shares how she and her husband have been consumed, day and night, with caring for their community in Melbourne – just an hour and a half flight from Sydney. Though deeply Chabad, she explains how essential advanced Torah learning was to her path.
Monday Afternoon: We visit a life center offering pastoral and psychological counseling to those seeking help. Police are also present, listening to testimonies from those who witnessed the events and wish to share what they saw.
We then travel to the shiva of Rav Yaakov Levitan, a close confidant and partner of Rabbi Eli. Every visionary needs someone who attends to the details, who advises and refines. Rav Eli was blessed with Rav Yaakov in this role. While Rav Eli greeted the masses, none of that which was set up at Bondi could have happened without Rav Yaakov.
Sitting with his sister, his parents – his mother Miriam and father Tzvi – I am broken. We talk. Mostly, I try to listen. I offer the only blessing that feels possible: that they take care of themselves. The loss of a son and brother can never be repaired – only, at best, managed. They share beautiful stories of Rav Yaakov. We embrace as we leave.
We meet Rabbi Groner. I share that I met his father thirty years earlier in Melbourne. I fall on his shoulder as I tell him that my grandfather, Rav Dovid, my father’s father, was the ba’al tefillah at a small shtiebel called Re’im Ahuvim in Brownsville in the late 1940s. Rabbi Groner tells me he knows the shul well – his family davened there too. He asks whether I have any recordings of Rav Dovid’s nusach.
We also meet Rabbi Gutnick, head of the Chabad Beit Din. He recalls visiting Riverdale years ago and coming to the Bayit, curious about the history of our mechitzah. I share my conversations with Rabbi Soloveitchik and his guidance. Rabbi Gutnick, aware of my involvement with Maharat, speaks eloquently about the importance of women learning Torah at the highest level. He is full of praise for Rabbanit Judith and shares how she insisted, in her role as a military chaplain, on wearing skirts rather than pants as part of her uniform. Rabbi Gutnick is not only a scholar – he is warm, kind, and, to my ear, deeply respectful, even across differences.
Monday Evening: We go to the home of George and Michal. Michal is the aunt of my daughter-in-law Shayndi; George is a chazzan in a progressive community. They describe being involved day and night in communal care.
With us is Rabbanit Nomi Kaltman, another Maharat musmechet, mother of five, lawyer by day and CEO of Jofa Australia by night. We speak about holding governments accountable. She shares how she has worked tirelessly with the press in Australia, Israel, and beyond to convey the horror of what occurred.
Someone at the table raises discomfort with the booing the night before when the Prime Minister was mentioned. What do I think? I say: I was proud. Proud that the crowd expressed its truth. I joined in the booing. It is important that the Prime Minister hear that under his watch this occurred – that responsibility must mean not only words, but action; laws that ensure antisemitism is never again allowed to rear its ugly head in Australia.