Relief, yes. Joy, absolutely no!

Rani Gvili, the last hostage, was brought home to be buried in Israel. The clock at Hostage  Square was turned off at 843 days. Unbelievably, for the first time since 2014, there are no hostages in Gaza. Many, including me never thought this day would come. I was horrified by the certainty I felt that some of the hostages’ remains would forever be lost under the rubble of Gaza along with the thousands of Gazans who will never be recovered.

Last week, for the first time in over 2 years, I wore a shirt that wasn’t a hostage support shirt and I took down the banners that have flown from my porch for all this time. This strange and painful era is over and it is met with relief, numbness and bewilderment. What it is not is a time for joy.

The government and the prime minister of October 7th are full of self-congratulations. They are busy claiming that they succeeded in bringing all the hostages home. No one will forget Sara Netanyahu’s angry statement about the hostages who came home from a deal and didn’t thank her and her husband for bringing them home. The fact that 46 of the hostages were killed in captivity doesn’t play a role in their ‘success’ of bringing the hostages home.

This government of October 7th refuses to take an iota of responsibility for the fact that 251 hostages were taken on that Black Saturday. The 1200 people tortured, raped and murdered that day has nothing to do with them. Yes, they were in power on that day, but responsibility? That word is not in their lexicon. Over 900 soldiers killed in this war. For the October 7th government, it was a necessary price for our security.

Despite Gal Hirsh’s current torrent of lies and misinformation, if not for Trump’s forcing Netanyahu to end the war and bring home all the hostages, this war would likely still be going on with more soldiers killed and maimed.  Netanyahu did not want to end the war and the lives of the hostages was a small price for him to continue. The October 7th prime minister’s political needs took precedence over the hostages and our soldiers.

The closest people in the room (Gallant, Gantz, Eisenkott, Alon) have spoken and stated so directly and plainly that political considerations prevented bringing home the hostages earlier and prolonged the war. Gal Hirsh was supremely unqualified for the position of Coordinator for Hostages and Missing. He was a political appointment by Netanyahu and is fully beholding to him.

Our hostages are all home. 46 hostages who were kidnapped alive were killed in captivity, most of whom could have and should have been brought home alive through deals. Netanyahu prevented most of the deals. He enabled his most extremist partners to be the tails who wagged his dog with every decision regarding the hostages and they have proudly publicized that they personally prevented hostage deals.

The October 7th prime minister continues to talk about Total Victory and proudly takes credit for success of one of the goals of the war, to bring home the hostages. His narrative leaves out the fact that this was not his war goal until the public led by the Forum of Hostage Families and the 2 former IDF Chiefs who joined his war cabinet (Gantz and Eisenkott) forced him to include the hostages as a war goal. However, it never became a primary goal of his beyond lip service. Only after Trump’s deal did it become paramount to Netanyahu because the demand that all the hostages be brought home enabled him to prevent the implementation of Phase 2 of Trump’s 20-point deal.

We lost this war on October 7th. There were no winners on any side. From day one, Netanyahu did not set any strategy, as has been the standard for all of his time as prime minister.  Every statement of ‘Total Victory’ was deliberately vague. Only he could define it and determine if/when it will be achieved.  But this war could not bring us victory, not total victory and not partial victory. Not when hundreds of thousands of Israelis were evacuated from their homes and made into refugees in their own country. Not when 251 hostages were taken and it took 843 days to bring the last hostage home. Not when over 20 communities in Israel were invaded and taken over for days. Not when families and hundreds of thousands of Israelis had to demonstrate to demand that the October 7th government and prime minister bring home the hostages. Not when families who were destroyed could not mourn their loved ones because they had to fight with the October 7th government. Not when the most extreme and self-interested government in our history puts their political power and budget interests before the country and its citizens.

There was no total victory. There is no total victory.

In the first week of the war, a news reporter said that the unity that Am Yisrael has shown was amazing and it was his hope that, after the war ends, we would continue to argue but without the hate and violence. That, too was my greatest hope at the time but the October government and prime minister had other ideas. Netanyahu, the divider-in-chief, could not change his stripes.

From the second day of the war, when Netanyahu had his most important meeting with his political advisors and PR people, he opted for political salvation over the good of the country and the return of the hostages. A campaign started shortly thereafter to make the hostage issue a political one so it would be seen as betrayal to Netanyahu to blame him for the hostage situation and putting any pressure on him and his failed government was acting on behalf of Hamas. This was the work of the Divider-in-Chief, his virulent son and wife and their poison machine.

The knew very well that a State Commission of Inquiry would be the worst thing for Netanyahu’s political salvation as well for preserving his self-defined legacy as ‘The Protector of the Jewish People’. Years ago, he coined his own nickname – “Mr. Security” which, on October 7 took on the unfortunate and devastating “Mr. Abandonment” from which there is no return. The Netanyahu poison machine was fast at work silencing anyone and everyone who had any ties to Netanyahu. Their initial and fervent statements at the beginning of the war that only a State Commission could deal with October 7 was now taboo and they had to follow the new party line which was to repeat whatever Netanyahu was to decide. That decision became a Knesset Commission appointed by those who most needed to be investigated; the cat guarding the milk.

We are a nation suffering from post-trauma. There are very few who are untouched by the war. The most profound living victims of all are the families of those killed, tortured, kidnapped and those who survived the attacks in so many places in the south. Added to them are, of course, all of the soldiers and their families who have paid the prices: deaths, maimed, traumatized, and all the population who were so affected.

Every single one of us is entitled to answers. How did we get to October 7? Why were we so unprepared? Why did it take so long for the army to respond and take back control of the more than 20 communities that were taken over by Hamas? Why did the government completely fall apart and cease to function for months after? What needs to be done, changed, fixed, improved upon to make sure this can never happen again?

And the list goes on and on.

A Knesset Commission cannot and will never provide any of those answers except to entirely pass blame on to the security organizations. Only an official State Commission of Inquiry can do that, just as they have done in past wars. We can question why Netanyahu and his supporters are afraid of this State Commission but the answer is only too clear and widely known. He is afraid of this commission and knows the damage it will cause to his political survival and legacy. Those are not reasons that the country should once again be abandoned.

Unlike this criminal government which lost its mandate for existence on October, I cannot be overjoyed that ‘they are all home’. I cannot go on with my life as normal because the normal of October 6 no longer exists, despite this government’s actions as though October 7 never happened.

We need to recognize the trauma of those around us and make sure that they can work towards healing without being blocked at every step. October 7 did not just happen and now it’s over. It will never be over. More than 2000 families of those lost will never be able to go back to October 6.

I ignore the calls of the cult that we are traitors because we don’t go along with them and their leader. We love this country no less than those who attack us but we put the country before a single politician.

It is the country that needs to be saved, not someone’s political future and legacy. It is the country that needs to be rehabilitated, rebuilt, remolded, not that of a politician. It is the future of our country and everyone who lives here that needs to be given hope for better: a future of peace, a future of prosperity, a future of leaders who are beholding to the populace and must prove their worth daily, a future where we don’t have to send our children to die fighting, a future of hope.