Eliyahu Jian
Co-Founder of Vital Transformation

Remedies to Obtain Peace

In Judaism, peace among families, friends, neighbors, and the general public is one of its most cherished values. For many, peace is a hard concept to understand, nevertheless, actually obtain. The root of the Hebrew word “shalom” is shalem, which means completeness and wholeness. Thankfully for us, great Kabbalists offer guidance about how to achieve a life of harmony. 

The first step to achieving peace in your life is to achieve it first in the home, otherwise known as shalom bayit (peace within the home). This is very challenging as you are most comfortable in your home and sometimes, when you get too comfortable, it is easy to forget manners and that you should always be challenging yourself. In his seminal work “Shaarei Kedusha,” Rabbi Chaim Vital emphasizes that we must emulate the Thirteen Attributes of God. One of those qualities is: “God is merciful.” Therefore, if God is merciful, we must also be merciful. For example, a husband left dirty dishes in the sink to be taken care of at a later time and his wife didn’t appreciate this and became upset with him. While the husband doesn’t understand his wife’s reasoning for her upsetness, he has to challenge himself to not rise to anger and find the mercy that we should all emulate.

Rabbi Isaac Luria (the Arizal), in his work “Shaar Ruach HaKodesh,” teaches that anger is the only thing that has the power to destroy all of the zechuyot, good merits, that a person has. What a shame that one moment of anger can destroy dozens of good merits from someone’s life! In the Torah, the word for anger is “af,” which means nose. This teaches us that the nose is the body part that controls anger. Therefore, when you are angry, you can breathe through the nose in order to calm down and have a clearer mind. 

In all areas of life, change can either come from the top down or from the bottom up. In Kabbalah, the Star of David represents this duality. The upper triangle (with the tip facing upwards) represents blessings that come from above. The lower triangle (with the tip facing downwards) represents blessings that come from your efforts down on earth. Below is a list of practical remedies to ensure more peace in your home, and consequently in all aspects of your life:

  • A good fragrance in the home protects it from negativity. For example, Moroccans and Libyans have a custom called bachor in which they burn frankincense or sage in the home in order to spread the good smell. 
  • Changing the mezuzah in the home also has the ability to bring good energy and protect against evil spirits. It is recommended to check and replace the mezuzot in the home on a regular basis. The word mezuzah is composed of two smaller Hebrew words: zaz and mavet, which mean movement and death. This teaches us that the mezuzah has the power to remove death and other obstacles from the home.
  • According to the Zohar, on Friday afternoons there is a danger that threatens to bring negativity into the home. In order to avoid this, you should be careful not to engage in conversations that may lead to disputes. Furthermore, it is recommended for a husband to help his wife prepare for Shabbat. It is also appropriate and meaningful for a husband to bring a beautiful gift to his wife, such as flowers or something else that makes her happy. 
  • You should avoid inviting guests who bring negative energy and introduce conflicts. If you have already spent time around such negative energy, it is a good idea to take a shower or dip in the mikvah in order to cleanse yourself. 
  • Many people will attend Havdalah at a synagogue on Saturday nights but will not observe it in their own homes. However, it is extremely meaningful and beneficial to do this ceremony every week in your home. The ceremony includes a fragrant plant, wine or grape juice, and a candle with several wicks. You should fill the glass of wine or grape juice up to the brim, as the wine represents livelihood, joy, and unity. After the ceremony, have a feast, or at least a cookie with sweet tea, in order to bring more joy and sweetness into your week. It is recommended to sing songs and read verses related to Eliyahu the Prophet and Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai. 
  • You should always collect charity in your home. When you keep a box set aside for charity collection, you will give more charity and teach others in your home to give charity. Charity has the power to bring joy and mercy into the home.
About the Author
Eliyahu Jian is a global thought leader, motivational speaker, author, and co-founder of Vital Transformation.
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