Returning to Life in a War Zone
I returned to Israel a week ago from a family simcha in New York.
During my stay I deliberately kept away from news, focusing instead on enjoying the culture and shopping destinations of my New York City hometown, and reuniting with old friends and family.
It felt liberating to be a consumer of life again, negotiating the ordinary reality of a bustling city, my only concern being how to fit three museums, four friends, an opera and a hojicha latte into one day. I was looking forward to coming home, to the green hills of the North of Israel, to my dear husband Rony, who had stayed behind to be close to our son in the army, to my friends and close community.
But returning to life in the shadow of war was more difficult than I expected.
I felt like I was stepping into a world cloaked in sadness. I could feel the heaviness envelop me, drag me down into despair and hopelessness. The contrast between life here and there, between the freedom and exhilaration I felt pounding the pulsing streets of NY, joining the dog walkers, the poodles and doodles in the early morning as the city came to life … and the frustration and grief that overwhelms me in a world circumscribed by missile attacks, punctuated with daily reports of wounded and dead soldiers.
In the seven days I am home, four of those days brought news of IDF soldiers killed by drones.
On my second day home, a young woman, Sgt Rotem Yanai, z”l, was killed on her base in Israel. Today ended with news of the death of Dr. Ori Yosef Silvester, z”l, the 30 year old doctor of the Givati Brigade’s Shaked Battalion in Lebanon. It is hard to bear these terrible losses.
On Saturday, we were shocked to hear sirens break our Shabbat peace and call us back to the safe rooms. We had not had a siren in Rosh Pina for nearly two months. But the fighting in Lebanon has intensified and Hezbollah stepped up its attacks on Northern Israel. This morning we were dragged from our beds at 1:30 AM with another wailing siren. On Sunday, I took my dog to his Veterinarian in Kiryat Shmona and we twice had to run to the air raid shelter!
I had been looking forward to swimming in our community pool but its Sunday opening was delayed due to the security situation. So yesterday I drove to the Kinneret, the Sea of Galilee, and while I was swimming a siren rang out and I saw two puffs of smoke in the sky where the Iron Dome had intercepted rockets. I turned my head and there was a large dead fish floating past me. The first and last time I saw a dead fish in the Kinneret was a week before October 7, 2023. I pray it is not an ill omen.
Today’s New York Times reported on the latest UN condemnation of Israel and its calls for Israel to withdraw its forces from Southern Lebanon. The article talks about fears of “an expanding [Israeli] military occupation” and the displacement of tens of thousands of Lebanese, but doesn’t mention at all the terror that Hezbollah is inflicting on the citizens of Northern Israel, whose lives and livelihoods have been upended by daily bombardments.
Our reality is unseen and ignored by much of the world. I feel obliged to share it with you. Thank you for your attention.
