In his new and provocative bestseller, “The Mystery of Pistory”, Prof. Demeritus Pinchas Plotz of Universal University in Eilat, advances the revolutionary theory that human history is simply the sad story of progression from one war or conflict to another. Prof Plotz firmly believes that his 12,000-page tome can change the tragic course of history by proving to people all over the world and especially the leaders of the nations that they have failed to understand the workings of history and that our world and humanity can be heading for total annihilation if the terrible man-made weapons get into the wrong hands. But judging by the advance sales of his 74.6 kilo book people of all shades, colors and beliefs, are queuing up with their wagons, prams and vans to stagger home with this remarkable and influential work which is a bargain at $750 dollars per copy.
Not only does Prof Plotz explain the continuing fascination of history with war and conflict, but he also shows how this distressing tendency can be summarily turned off and redirected so that the prayers of ordinary people the world over for permanent peace on earth can be answered, and how the dismal and perilous course of history can at long last be changed from ‘Pistory to Peacestory’ with an end to war and conflict and lasting peace on earth.
A special feature of the book is the 100-page Peace and Love Vocabulary Guide which teaches people of all ages for the first time how to express feelings of peace and love for one another instead of the usual feelings of suspicion, envy, mistrust, prejudice, fear, inferiority and superiority, hatred, between nations and peoples of different faiths, political persuasions and backgrounds. No wonder then that many of the world leaders including President Trump, Bibi, Putin, Rouhani, Macron, Johnson and Erdogan have been among the first to rush to obtain this Heaven-sent volume in order to get some tips about changing the course of history and to learn how to bring hope to humanity’s suffering trillions.
The 103-year-old professor is extremely modest about his accomplishment. In an exclusive interview with the Jerusalem Cannabis Times newspaper he said: “Well, as you know I have spent the best part of my life writing this book so it should come as no surprise that I am in line for the Nobel Prize for Peace, an earldom from Great Britain, an Oscar from the USA and the Freedom of Jerusalem, as well as an Olympic gold medal for the longest volume in recorded history. The list of honors is endless and I barely have room for them all in the old-age home…But it’s very pleasant for someone of my age to be suddenly heaped with honors from all over the globe for a lifetime’s work ensconced in the pages of my unprecedented masterpiece.”
Finally, it is also rumored from reliable Government sources that Professor Plotz is being tipped to take over as President of the State of Israel when President Rivlin retires in ??? and may have to leave his old age home and move into the President’s Residence.
So hurry up and put in your order for this trail-blazing work and you too can help to change the course of history for the better.
DAVID HERMAN JERUSALEM, DAVIDHERMAN2@013NET.NET