Rosh Chodesh Elul

Most of my life is quite routine. I like it that way. It keeps me grounded and even-keeled. My life and my mind in and of themselves are exciting enough!

Even on Shabbat I have a routine. I wake up and relax with my husband. He has coffee, and I have tea. He reads the paper, and I read the magazine. After about an hour, I usually go visit my neighbour.

This week, I told my neighbour that I wasn’t feeling well, so I wouldn’t be able to come over. I was coming off the flu and just felt that I needed extra sleep. I did indeed sleep some more, and when I woke up I felt rejuvenated, invigorated — and thought, actually, I do want to go visit my neighbour and hear all about her trip to Israel. So I got dressed, had my tea, and went to her house.

Alas, the gate was locked. I couldn’t enter since I didn’t know the code. Calling out to her didn’t feel right, so I turned around to go home.

The sun was shining, the day looked glorious, and I decided instead to go for a walk. It wasn’t my usual walk — nothing too fast-paced, just slow, meditative, and relaxing. I noticed each flower. I noticed the different shades of the trees. And I just enjoyed Hashem’s beautiful world, right here in my own neighbourhood.

In my mind, I kept singing a Shlomo Carlebach song, the words of which go like this:

‎“שבתי בבית ה’ כל ימי חיי לחזות בנועם ה’ ולבקר בהיכלו”
“To dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the sweetness of the Lord, and to visit in His sanctuary.”

When a song lodges itself in my mind, I try after a while to change it to a different song. The reason is that I believe if I can train my mind to change a song, then I can train my mind to change a thought. It takes away some of my rumination.

So I changed songs here and there — but this song kept returning. It just wouldn’t leave me. A thought that kept coming to my mind was: are the words really ולבקש (“to ask, to seek, to beg”) or ולבקר (“to visit”) in G-d’s sanctuary?

I told myself that when I came home, I would check the siddur and see which was correct.

When I came home, I noticed it was already quite late. I went upstairs, got changed, and came down to daven. I davened quickly and got ready to go out for lunch.

On our way to lunch my husband asked me if I had remembered to bentch Rosh Chodesh. I told him I had forgotten, but asked him to please remind me when we got back from lunch.

I tried to remind myself by using one of my little tricks: I assign just a letter to remember something. Later, the letter reminds me of the task. So I told myself: “B” — for Bentching.

We had a lovely lunch, full of interesting conversation and delicious food. When I came home, I remembered I needed to do something — but didn’t know what. Then I remembered the letter “B.” I thought “B” must mean “book,” so I took out a book and started to read.

It was a book of short stories — and one of the stories had exactly the pasuk I had been singing all morning.

“Aha!” I told myself. “Now I remember what I needed to do. I wanted to check whether the pasuk ends with ולבקר or ולבקש בהיכלו.”

I opened my siddur to try to find the pasuk. I knew it was somewhere in Shacharit. In His infinite kindness, G-d even whispered to me that it was after the Shemoneh Esrei.

But alas, I had no idea where exactly. I turned each page and scanned them carefully. Still, I couldn’t find it. I thought maybe it was in the Hayom Yom of each day, so I looked there — but still no luck.

And then G-d did a miracle for me: there it was, in big bold letters —

‎“לדוד ה’ אורי וישעי”
“Of David: The Lord is my light and my salvation.”

Eureka! I found it. I couldn’t believe G-d helped me find the pasuk! I was so excited, so happy. My mind was aglow with joy.

And then another miracle happened: I remembered that לדוד ה’ אורי וישעי is said every day of the month of Elul. That, in turn, reminded me to bentch Rosh Chodesh!

Had I not been singing that song, wondering about the right word, and looking and checking for the spelling, I never would have remembered to bentch Rosh Chodesh.

For me, blessing the new month is a big deal. It makes me feel the month will be good. Especially in these dark times, we need G-d’s blessing even more.

So I said each word with deep concentration:

“May He who performed miracles for our forefathers and redeemed them from slavery to freedom, redeem us soon and gather our dispersed ones from the four corners of the earth. All of Israel are friends.”

“Renew this month for us for goodness and for blessing.
For joy and for gladness.
For salvation and for consolation.
For livelihood and for sustenance.
For life and for peace.
For forgiveness of sin and atonement for wrongdoing.
And may He grant us long life, a life of peace, a life of goodness, a life of blessing, a life of sustenance, a life of bodily health, a life in which there is awe of Heaven and fear of sin, a life in which there is no shame or humiliation, a life of wealth and honor, a life in which we will love Torah and revere God, a life in which the Lord fulfills our heart’s requests for good. Amen, may it be His will.”

And so today, as I sing Hallel — since today and tomorrow are Rosh Chodesh — I will beg G-d for blessings and good tidings for my family, my friends, my community, and the whole wide world.

May it all be answered today!

Miracles do happen. They happen to me. They can happen to you. Just keep looking for them!