Seder with a renewed empathy – faith and unity

How did it really feel as one of the Children of Israel on the night of Seder in the heart of Egypt? They were not characters in a musical (sorry for dispelling the myth) nor cartoon characters – they were real people with lives like me and you, albeit without X or Instagram. How do I think they would have felt going through the experience?

How many times have I really thought through the injunction to imagine myself as if I was going out of Egypt … truly? I have seen it acted out as we drink and talk, but let’s really imagine what was probably going on.

You have been enslaved for your whole life, as were your parents and grandparents. Until incredibly recently, you have been under the almost total control of the Pharaoh. Now a new leader has come along, miracles reported which have shocked all, yet the Pharaoh has not given up.

You have bravely painted your doors with the blood of a sheep – the same creature worshipped by the hosts who have enslaved you for years. You have taken a huge risk and bet.

You hope, you pray, you wait…. Which way will it go? You believe with (probably) all your heart, but you are probably not certain… there is a sense of excitement, hope, and yet of fear… fear of the unknown, fear of leaving behind what you know, fear of death…. fear….

It must have been terrifying and completely intoxicating. A few months ago, we had a little taste of it when Iran attacked… yet it was a tiny taste.

We are commanded to act as if we were there. How can we do that from the comfort of our dining rooms? Now maybe more than ever we can glimpse a small sense of the feeling. And yes, there are some clear comparisons: how many Egyptian firstborns and soldiers were slain in the process? Can you imagine what the press would have reported if we had had social media in that time?

This year I have a different perspective. Having been handed a probable diagnosis of a disease that, by the statistics books, will make this one of the last Passover Seders I will have – and I am only 49 – I too am sitting in the same room.

I believe with all my fiber in God and His word in the Torah – yet I am sitting at the table knowing something is coming but not sure what it looks like nor exactly when. I am confident, but that doesn’t make it all that much less scary.

Then I look around me and I realize I am not alone. We all go through this journey, just at different times and in different ways – it is all our journeys. Billions have gone through it and many more will, and many far less brave have made the journey. I will be ok! I am not alone.

The matzah is a pertinent reminder – the core center of the Seder – the matzah. It is so extremely brittle and made of such limited ingredients, yet it is so incredibly central… it is both the bread of affliction and the bread of freedom. We are similar. Simple, brittle, yet with enormous capabilities, both the good and bad, and it is up to us to decide how to use the limited tools we have.

On the night of Seder, let’s also remember another usually understated fact. The Jews of the Exodus were similar to us in that they were not, by any stretch of the imagination, unified. They represented different factions, interests, and viewpoints. There is more than enough information we can glean in the story of the Exodus about the people being driven by differences. Moshe was by no means universally accepted or loved – at least at this point, and we know at a number of other points. He was a former member of the ruling class – there must have been concerns.

Despite that, hundreds of thousands of families waited patiently and trusted in the project, laying themselves completely vulnerable by staying at the place of maximum risk – in their homes. This is an extraordinary display of unity.

A clue to this is the presence of the four sons – they were all there – the wise one who possibly had his/her concerns from an intellectual perspective, the wicked son who no doubt had faith challenges and usually didn’t listen to authority, the simple son who was probably the most pliant, and the one that simply doesn’t know to ask – probably a majority – those simply clinging to their faith and metaphorically speechless.

Yet – they all hung in there (others had, no doubt, and according to the sages, peeled off earlier)… there was unity.

The Haggadah never makes an attempt to merge the four children into one common identity – it recognizes the difference. They all sat as equals at the same table.
It is surely a message for all of us – we have to make unity work by respecting and tolerating our differences.

The commandment to really imagine that we were ourselves going out of Egypt is perhaps more layered and complex than I had previously given thought to. I think it adds a beautiful layer of meaning and perhaps more personal empathy to both their struggles and the fact that we are going through a different, but in some ways similar, journey both as individuals and as a people all these years later.

The truth is that my condition doesn’t make me any different to anyone else – we are all part of a chain that comes straight from those who celebrated the Seder ‘live’ and we all have the chance to add our flavor to the story handed down to the next generation. It is a journey not just of the Jewish People but one which influences all around. It is something truly special.

This night is different, but it still fits our narrative today.

Wishing everyone a Chag Sameach V’Kasher