Sermons of Rebuke: Chayei Sarah excerpts

חיי שרה

Shabbat Shalom

Eliezer, Avraham’s servant, was looking for a woman who would help a little. Give that little extra. Not something that any woman has done for this congregation…You don’t get called to the Torah, you can at least help with the shule parochet/window shade for the ark. Look at this. You see a shule in need and you just sit by. (24:14) The proof that Rebbeca is the right one for Yitzchak is if her response to the request for drinking is ‘Drink and I will also give drink to your camels.’

How many of our young ladies are just into themselves.You help when you are asked.
Lifting a hand to help….

She ends up doing this, with haste. She cared
To take that little extra step without a question. To give some drink to the camels? She was not asked to give anything to the camels. She noticed there was need for some help.
Look at some of the children in this congregation. Famished….Learn how to cook. There is a reason nobody asks Mrs. Goldsmith to make the shule choolante. You can’t cook…The Frankel mishpuchi has been feeding your child behind your back. Ever wonder why Itzik runs to the Frankel’s, every day? They have no kids his age…Mrs. Frankel knows how to cook and sees the need to feed a starving child…
It is that little extra that makes her one of the IMahot (euphemism for one of the mothers of the Jewish people)…
How she see that the animals are important too. I have seen the way you guys treat goldfish. Dead. Two hours in a jar and dead…That is why we are cancelling the Purim carnival this year….
How often do we take that extra step? Help somebody even though we could have gotten away without helping? How often have we seen somebody trying to park in a tow-away-zone and just stood there? How many times have we seen friends and family of the Finklesteins who cannot even read the transliteration of the Barchu card? Only once has Mr. Frankel kicked him off the Aliyah and done it for him….
It is that little extra. The what we are not asked. That is what shows the quality of a person…I know Mrs. Singelman has done a lot that she was not asked. Nobody is wearing the socks you knitted for their birthday…There is no band on top. You made flooks…They fall down…a little rubber-band in there. Something.

(24:26) After all of this, Eliezer bows to H.’
After she then offers him a place to sleep. Her dad’s place…
He bows to H.’ That is what you do. You pray for a good woman. Just like Eliezer. A woman that does that extra little bit. That notices when help is needed, like with this neon green ark cover. Understands. Does something, unlike every woman in this shule, who have not done anything about the kiddush today. There are no post service snacks, so you will all starve. Nobody noticed that the Chazan went on for three hours on the kiddusha in the morning service. Frankel- you should have kicked him off the bima (stage)…And we are all parched…It is that woman that does the little extra. The not lazy woman, who will allow her husband to relax.
It is about noticing the needs of others. The needs of the animals, you kiddush hoarders, standing by the table devouring mass sponge cake…And when she comes, all you can do is thank H.’ Because that is a miracle. Finally, a woman that helps…And the Finkelsteins need a lot of help.

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.
Shabbat Shalom

About the Author
David Kilimnick: Jerusalem's Comedian performs at his Off The Wall Comedy Basement- Jerusalem's first comedy club, every Thursday in English and every Wednesday in Hebrew, in downtown Jerusalem. David may also be contacted to perform for tour groups in Israel & Synagogue fundraisers around the world, and for your private parties. Contact: 972(50)875-5688 David Kilimnick, dubbed Israel's father of Anglo comedy by the Jerusalem Post, is leading the new pack of English-speaking stand-up comics in Israel . At his Off the Wall Comedy Basement club in Jerusalem (the first of its kind), Kilimnick has been offering up penetrating observations of life in his turbulent adopted country. Tourists and native Israelis alike have been flocking to his cozy, intimate club and raving about his unique ability to transform the daily chaos and aggravation of Israeli life into an evening full of laughter. Kilimnick's material covers the rocky transition from his "New York Cocoon" to his new life as an "Oleh Chadash" or Israeli newcomer. Still single, Kilimnick touches on his religious upbringing, his rabbinic insights, the injustices of Jewish grammar school and Jewish summer camp, and the looks he gets from his Jewish mother because he isn't married yet. Meanwhile, Kilimnick's universal humor takes you on a tour of funny through the Holy Land. Incorporating routines from his shows 'The Aliyah Monologues Classic 1 & 2','Find Me A Wife,' 'Frum From Birth: Religious Manifesto', his music show 'Avtala Band' & more, David Kilimnick justifies his Aliyah (move to Israel), while taking you through the reality of life as a single immigrant, Israel experiences, holidays & family left behind. You are sure to walk away entertained, enlightened, or with David. David has recently appeared on "Bip" Israel's comedy network, צחוק מעבודב and has been hailed by the tough Israeli media as a rising star who possesses Seinfeldian charm when he takes to the stage.
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