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David Kilimnick

Sermons of Rebuke: Lech LCha excerpts

Shabbat Shalom

(13:6) Lot was also wealthy and him and Avram could not live together.

(13:7) There was a fight between their shepherds.
Every one of you gets money, and then the fights start…This congregation is a bit different though. You have no money, and you are still fighting for Aliyahs. I don’t even know why you get called to the Torah anyways. When you say 18 of the local currency, you give shekels. We are in America…

(13:8-9) Avram says, ‘Let there not be a quarrel between us…isn’t there a whole land in front of you. Go away from me.’
Sometimes you cannot live with people. Take the Zwaskovitz family. What was the Zwaskovitz family. Now the Zwaskovitz family and the Stern family…
You cannot keep living in the same house. Not when you are expected to line up your shoes, every single night…

Sometimes, for good, you have to separate.
Which is why your rabbi will be taking a paid vacation…In an act of righteousness, such as our forefather Avram, the board will be asked to look all around America, and to find a different place to live…
They separate, kind of like every wealthy person in the city…This congregation could not hold onto one wealthy person. Not one…

(13:14-15) After Avram separates from Lot, he can now see the blessing. The blessing that H’ is giving him and his offspring the land of Israel.
Rashi- All the time that a Rasha (wicked person) was with him, the word of H’ was disconnected from him.

Sometimes I need space too. I give time to you people in this congregation…I also need time to be around pure people…Not people who complain about the Zwaskovitz family…I have not seen a blessing since I have been in this congregation…No wealth…And the offspring, of the original members in this land, donates more to

We are affected by our surroundings.
(Pirkei Avot- 4:18) Rabbi NeHorai- ‘Go to a place of Torah…for with your friends is how you will be able to keep it.’
Luckily, there are no friends in this congregation…

About the Author
David Kilimnick: Jerusalem's Comedian performs at his Off The Wall Comedy Basement- Jerusalem's first comedy club, every Thursday in English and every Wednesday in Hebrew, in downtown Jerusalem. David may also be contacted to perform for tour groups in Israel & Synagogue fundraisers around the world, and for your private parties. Contact: david@israelcomedy.com 972(50)875-5688 David Kilimnick, dubbed Israel's father of Anglo comedy by the Jerusalem Post, is leading the new pack of English-speaking stand-up comics in Israel . At his Off the Wall Comedy Basement club in Jerusalem (the first of its kind), Kilimnick has been offering up penetrating observations of life in his turbulent adopted country. Tourists and native Israelis alike have been flocking to his cozy, intimate club and raving about his unique ability to transform the daily chaos and aggravation of Israeli life into an evening full of laughter. Kilimnick's material covers the rocky transition from his "New York Cocoon" to his new life as an "Oleh Chadash" or Israeli newcomer. Still single, Kilimnick touches on his religious upbringing, his rabbinic insights, the injustices of Jewish grammar school and Jewish summer camp, and the looks he gets from his Jewish mother because he isn't married yet. Meanwhile, Kilimnick's universal humor takes you on a tour of funny through the Holy Land. Incorporating routines from his shows 'The Aliyah Monologues Classic 1 & 2','Find Me A Wife,' 'Frum From Birth: Religious Manifesto', his music show 'Avtala Band' & more, David Kilimnick justifies his Aliyah (move to Israel), while taking you through the reality of life as a single immigrant, Israel experiences, holidays & family left behind. You are sure to walk away entertained, enlightened, or with David. David has recently appeared on "Bip" Israel's comedy network, צחוק מעבודב and has been hailed by the tough Israeli media as a rising star who possesses Seinfeldian charm when he takes to the stage.