Sermons of Rebuke: Noach Excerpts

Shabbat Shalom
(7:23) H’ erased all…
Even the animals. That is how bad humans were. It was kind of like a whole world of the Halsberg mishpuchi.
(6:12) Rashi- even the animals lost their way too, with depravity.
It starts with humans.
Robbery is the reason (6:13)- the end of human existence, when there is lack of care for others.
It starts with man and then it trickles down to the animals….Bernie has not bent in years. For this, his dog poops on the sidewalk. His dog’s poop is left there. Immorality. That is what happens. It starts with people, and then you have dogs barking whenever they want…Ever been to a zoo? Disgusting. Immorality…
Try a safari. No morality.
The flood ensues and then
(8:1) H’ remembered Noach and the animals on the ark.
A new start…There is remembrance of good. I know that is hard, when you are in a shule where the gabbai hasn’t given you an Aliyah since last Yom Kippur…We must give H’ a reason to remember the good before we have to sell this shule…
Is it H’ that is destroying this congregation, or you?
Not all sinned. There were a few who kept the world going. H’ remembered. 
Do we have a couple in this shule who can keep us going? Anybody with a normal job? A business that makes enough money for a donation? What kind of a shule is this?…so poor. There is no reason to give an Aliyah. The last time one of you gave a donation…Immoral. To lie about donations to the shule… It is because the gabbai puts you on the spot. I know. No care for fellow human beings…Depravity. Still have to read the transliteration on the Barchu card.
***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.
Shabbat Shalom
About the Author
David Kilimnick: Jerusalem's Comedian performs at his Off The Wall Comedy Basement- Jerusalem's first comedy club, every Thursday in English and every Wednesday in Hebrew, in downtown Jerusalem. David may also be contacted to perform for tour groups in Israel & Synagogue fundraisers around the world, and for your private parties. Contact: 972(50)875-5688 David Kilimnick, dubbed Israel's father of Anglo comedy by the Jerusalem Post, is leading the new pack of English-speaking stand-up comics in Israel . At his Off the Wall Comedy Basement club in Jerusalem (the first of its kind), Kilimnick has been offering up penetrating observations of life in his turbulent adopted country. Tourists and native Israelis alike have been flocking to his cozy, intimate club and raving about his unique ability to transform the daily chaos and aggravation of Israeli life into an evening full of laughter. Kilimnick's material covers the rocky transition from his "New York Cocoon" to his new life as an "Oleh Chadash" or Israeli newcomer. Still single, Kilimnick touches on his religious upbringing, his rabbinic insights, the injustices of Jewish grammar school and Jewish summer camp, and the looks he gets from his Jewish mother because he isn't married yet. Meanwhile, Kilimnick's universal humor takes you on a tour of funny through the Holy Land. Incorporating routines from his shows 'The Aliyah Monologues Classic 1 & 2','Find Me A Wife,' 'Frum From Birth: Religious Manifesto', his music show 'Avtala Band' & more, David Kilimnick justifies his Aliyah (move to Israel), while taking you through the reality of life as a single immigrant, Israel experiences, holidays & family left behind. You are sure to walk away entertained, enlightened, or with David. David has recently appeared on "Bip" Israel's comedy network, צחוק מעבודב and has been hailed by the tough Israeli media as a rising star who possesses Seinfeldian charm when he takes to the stage.
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