Hilary Peer

Shattered heart

Ever since October 7th, like so many others I have battled with my emotions. To say I was shocked is an understatement, the grief that I feel is beyond my ability to contain.

It’s as though my heart has been shattered into little pieces and the pain is so intense.

It’s like being on a constant roller coaster with each emotion taking its toll.

I can’t possibly imagine how the families of the murdered and kidnapped are getting through their daily lives.

Having lived in Israel, I know the intensity of living through sirens, and rushing to safety with my children. But there is no comparison to what happened on that dreadful day.

Being attacked in the very place where you are supposed to be safe. The kibbutzim have been described as a “small piece of heaven” how can they ever get that back.

How can they feel safe again, with the fear of those monsters returning?

Although the people of Israel have come together at this time and Jewish people around the world are rallying together, there are questions that need to be answered, but all we hear is “now is not the time, we must finish this war and then we can ask.”

I’m not a politician, and neither do I want to be, but people need answers. Something went seriously wrong, and not just on the 7th of Oct. Hamas built tunnels under our noses, and under the watchful eye of the UN, whose own employees hid weapons under schools and hospitals and educated their children to hate Jews.

Millions of dollars were spent on terror tunnels, and weapons of destruction. Education centers and hospitals were built solely to house terrorists and to store weapons.

There is a lot of speculation about what happened on Oct 7th, that the Israeli government, the army and the secret services, knew what was going to happen and ignored the warnings. For some reason, they didn’t believe it could happen.

We were being watched by our enemies, and with all the discontent amongst the people and the divisions in the government, we became an easy target. Many soldiers were deployed to the West Bank to protect the settlers, leaving the south exposed.

This must be investigated; people must be called out.

The very people who were supposed to protect us, have let us down. This happened on their watch, and no amount of fighting will make it better. The damage has been done.

Bibi, made a huge statement, “Israel has become stronger under my leadership.” He couldn’t be further from the truth!!

The Israeli people have become stronger and united not because of Bibi or any other member of the Knesset but because of our strong spirit and determination.

But amongst our strength is sorrow and disappointment, we feel we have been deserted by the very people who are supposed to stand with us against terror, rape, and abuse. The Red Cross, the UN, and the countless women’s organizations are silent and somehow twist reality and justify Hamas!

For me these organisations are only part of the problem, and whilst they anger me, I am not surprised at their actions. Jewish people are used to being alone, we are used to the hatred and calls for our annihilation.

What angers me more are other Jews, who stand at the pro-Palestinian demos and ask for a ceasefire, who claim Israel is an apartheid state and an occupying state.

They say kaddish for Palestinians and stand with people who call for our destruction.

This hurts me to the core; I can’t comprehend it.

Of course, not everyone feels an affinity to Israel and we don’t all agree with the policies and politics, let’s not forget that before Oct 7th, Israelis and Jewish people all over the world held demonstrations against the judicial reforms for over six months.

So, no we don’t all have to be Zionists, but we do have to feel sadness and pain. We must come together and share in the grief, and send support to the grieving families, to the families waiting to hear about their loved ones. We must stand with the soldiers and with the displaced families. We must send aid and volunteer and spread the truth to the world.

This is not the time to be silent, and this is certainly not the time to idly stand by and feel nothing!

We are stronger because we have no other choice. Israel will not disappear and nor will its people.

עם ישראל חי

About the Author
I am British born and attended Jewish primary and secondary schools. My whole life I have been a passionate zionist and made aliyah in 2002. I met my husband and we have two lovely daughters. After living in Israel for almost twenty years, in 2018 we decided to move to England I am a childcare professional and have my own childminding business, as well as being an educator at the Reform synagogue. Along with my husband we run an ‘Israel in Focus” group and run events for our community. I believe that Jewish education must be inclusive, and it is vital we show our children to be proud of who they are. We have to raise awareness, teach history, show them how much they can achieve. Teach them the history of Israel, about our warriors, and our achievement's.
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