Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews

Should introverts ‘get out of their shell’?

Here you find very deep answers from big rabbis in our time. And below you find my answer which is completely different from what they wrote.

I’m totally for us all living our lives as we see fit and others respecting us in that — as long as we don’t (try to) hurt others. But that’s not ideal.

The best is when we all challenge the boundaries from our own characters as much as possible — though step by step.

The endless listener should become an excellent speaker.
The enthusiastic speaker should learn to listen.
The downtrodden “happy to follow” should strive to lead.
The confident “natural leader” should support the leadership of others.
The cerebral person should discover the importance of feelings.
The overwhelmed person should try to formulate these key thoughts.
The quite should learn to make noise — and enjoy it.
The noisy should learn to be quite.
The extrovert should also take time to reflect alone.
The introvert should also learn to lead.

This policy will bring out the best in all of us.

That’s why we often marry our opposites — to learn from them.

It is an enormous misunderstanding that people are at their best when they are comfortable. Comfort is good but, as with all enjoyment in life, should only be enjoyed within limits — or it will be a destructive addiction.

No, we should not turn into the ones who should act more like we did. The newly leading person should stay themselves, humble, feeling, asking for support, thinking well about everyone. And not become like the old-style classic leaders, bossy, know-it-all, arrogant, self-centered, fake-friendly, get-out-of-my-way type.

And this should also set a policy for the bystander and the community.

We should insist that the shy speak before anyone else.
We should seek leaders who feel too incompetent.

Yes, I know, it sounds crazy. But that’s an uninformed opinion till you try it.

That’s G^d’s policy. He only sought Prophets who ran away from it.

About the Author
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (, born in 1953 to two Dutch survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork, and holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam). He taught Re-evaluation Co-counseling, became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His most influential teachers (chronologically) are: his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach and lehavdiel bein chayim lechayim: Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff and Rav Meir Lubin. * Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years he wrote hasbara for the Dutch public. His fields of attention now are varied: Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (statistics), Politics (Israel, the US and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight Truth), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, GLBTQAI, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), Ecology and Veganism. Sometimes he's misunderstood because he has such a wide vision that never fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what many love about him. Many of his posts relate to affairs from the news or the Torah Portion of the Week or are new insights that suddenly befell him. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, reassure the doubters but make the self-assured doubt more. He strives to bring a fresh perspective rather than bore you with the obvious. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds must be disputed. In short, his main political positions are: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, democracy, anti the fake peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, Science, Free Will, anti blaming-the-victim and for down-to-earth optimism. Read his blog how he attempts to bridge any discrepancies. He admits sometimes exaggerating to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quit a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. November 13, 2018, he published his 500st blog post with the ToI. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having a peek outside of your cultural bubble. * NEW: To see other blog posts by him, his overspill blog you can reach by clicking on the Website icon next to his picture at the head of every post. There you may find precursors to later TOI blog posts, addition or corrections of published TOI blog posts, blog posts the TOI will not carry and some thoughts that are too short to be a TOI blog post. Also, the TOI only allows for one blog post per blogger per 24 hours. Sometimes, he has more to say than that. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me.
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