Stockholm Syndrome
Recently, an Orthodox relative relayed how the women in her community had successfully advocated for and implemented a change in their section of their synagogue. They secured permission to do so, and took it upon themselves to contribute the effort and funds to make it happen. They were happy and proud about this big “win”.
However, it turned out that this change became necessary only after a committee of synagogue men had made a mistake which they refused to correct. I pointed out that I didn’t see how this could be a “win” when the women had to invest their time and money to correct an error made by others. The synagogue had managed to overlook their needs, but that was their problem, and they went along with that thinking. Next time they want their needs to be recognized, will they be expected to take care of it themselves? To me they were celebrating their powerlessness.
My relative replied, “Yes, we Orthodox women all have Stockholm syndrome.” This positions Orthodox women as trauma victims, responding to their situation by identifying with their abusers, i.e., Orthodox men, and perhaps halacha itself. They feel trapped in a system and believe they can’t escape, so they need to go along with it, give themselves over to it.
I immediately thought of this exchange when I read Itay Mashiach’s recent piece in Ha’artez “Forget Op-eds & Debates. Here’s How to Actually Change People’s Minds” profiling Sarah Stein Lubrano and her work on changing people’s political opinions [link below]. Discussed in the article is system justification theory, which says that people who are hurt by social/political/economic systems often justify those systems, sometimes with intense conviction, in order to believe that what they’re experiencing and doing is ‘fair, legitimate, justifiable and necessary.’ She credits John Jost with saying that “people who suffer the most from a given state of affairs are paradoxically the least likely to question, challenge, reject or change it.” Mashiach summarizes a related point, “the more we perceive the path we are embarked upon as inevitable, even if it inflicts suffering on us, the more we’re likely to believe that it is the right path.”
It’s a powerful idea. Can it explain Orthodox Jewish women’s acceptance and defense of their situation? Can it explain how those who consider themselves “Orthodox feminists” are quick to defend halacha, and not to seek actual equality?
System justification theory. Stockholm syndrome indeed.
link to Haaretz article: