Strengthening the Jewish Family and Community

In a world where the rapid pace of life often leaves little room for meaningful connection, Jewish families face unique and evolving challenges. Our tradition places profound emphasis on the sanctity of family life, the strength of marriages, and the importance of passing down wisdom through generations. Yet, the pressures of modernity—balancing demanding careers, managing family responsibilities, and navigating the digital age—test the resilience of even the most committed families. As we strive to uphold these cherished values, it becomes increasingly clear that sustaining the strength and cohesion of our families requires more than just intention; it demands proactive and thoughtful education.

The Foundation of Jewish Community: The Family

The Jewish family has always been the cornerstone of our community. It is within the family that values are transmitted, identities are formed, and the foundation for a strong, resilient community is laid. However, as we confront the realities of 21st-century life, it’s clear that maintaining the strength and cohesion of our families requires more than just good intentions. It requires education—specifically, relationship education.

Understanding Relationship Education

Relationship education offers tools and strategies that help couples and families build stronger, healthier connections. At its core, relationship education is about equipping individuals with the skills to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and deepen emotional intimacy. These are not just skills for surviving difficult times; they are for thriving together, ensuring that the bond between spouses, and between parents and children, remains strong and vibrant.

In Jewish tradition, the concept of shalom bayit (peace in the home) is of utmost importance. It speaks to the harmony and mutual respect that should characterize a Jewish household. Relationship education aligns perfectly with this value, offering practical ways to achieve and maintain shalom bayit. Through structured programs like those provided by the PAIRS Foundation, couples learn to navigate the inevitable challenges of married life, from managing expectations to balancing responsibilities, all within a framework that honors their cultural and religious values.

The late Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, MD, a respected authority in both Jewish and psychological communities, emphasized the importance of this type of education. He observed, “In recent years, the number of failed marriages among Jews has risen to an alarming incidence. In many of these cases, young people were grossly unprepared for marriage and were frustrated when their unrealistic fantasies failed to materialize. The only answer to thwart this tragic problem is to provide young people with a better understanding of the responsibilities of marriage, and how one should relate to another human being intimately. The [PAIRS] S.H.A.L.O.M. Workshop is a vital project and a great mitzvah.” His words underscore the critical need for relationship education as a proactive measure to safeguard the sanctity of marriage within the Jewish community.

Strengthening the Community through Family Education

Furthermore, relationship education can play a vital role in strengthening the broader Jewish community. When families are strong, the community is strong. Healthy families contribute to a sense of belonging and continuity, fostering environments where Jewish traditions and values can flourish. This is especially important in a time when assimilation and external pressures threaten to erode the fabric of Jewish communal life.

Relationship education also serves as a preventive measure, helping to avoid issues before they arise. Premarital education, for example, has been shown to significantly reduce the likelihood of divorce. For Jewish couples, this means not only preserving their union but also upholding the commitment they have made under the chuppah, in front of their families, friends, and the Divine. By investing in the foundation of their relationship early on, couples can navigate the inevitable ups and downs of marriage with greater resilience.

The Broader Impact: A Community Built on Chesed

In many ways, relationship education is a form of chesed (loving-kindness). It is an act of kindness to oneself, one’s partner, and one’s community. By committing to the ongoing work of building strong, healthy relationships, we are not only fulfilling our personal aspirations but also contributing to the collective well-being of our people.

This commitment to relationship education extends beyond the family unit. It is a communal responsibility, ensuring that the next generation inherits a world where Jewish values and traditions remain strong. Programs that focus on educating young couples before marriage with practical, evidence-based skills, providing ongoing support throughout marriage, and addressing family dynamics across generations are essential tools for maintaining the integrity and vibrancy of Jewish life.

Looking Ahead: Prioritizing Family Health for a Stronger Community

As we look to the future, it is clear that we must prioritize the health of our families if we are to maintain a vibrant Jewish community. Relationship education is not a luxury; it is a necessity. It provides the tools needed to build the types of relationships that can withstand the pressures of modern life while remaining true to our values and traditions.

The strength of the Jewish family will determine the strength of the Jewish community. By embracing relationship education, we are taking an active step toward ensuring that our families and our communities remain strong, connected, and resilient for generations to come.