Striving for Perfection in an Imperfect World: Parshat Emor

NON-VIRGINS, WIDOWS, DIVORCEES AND HARLOTS

Parshat Emor includes many disturbing passages, some of which have ramifications until this day. First, we are told whom priests are allowed and not allowed to marry:

 They shall not take [into their household as their wife] a woman defiled by harlotry (אשה זנה וחללה), nor shall they take one divorced from her husband. For they are holy to their God (Leviticus 21:7).

He may take [into his household as his wife] only a woman who is a virgin. A widow, or a divorced woman, or one who is degraded by harlotry—such he may not take. Only a virgin of his own kin (מעמיו) may he take as his wife— that he may not profane his offspring among his kin, for I God have sanctified him (Leviticus 21:13-15).

THE LESS THAN PERFECT, THE DISABLED

Then God goes on to speak to Moses and tells him to speak to Aaron who is the High Priest:

Speak to Aaron and say: No man of your offspring throughout the ages who has a defect shall be qualified to offer the food of his God. No one at all who has a defect shall be qualified: no man who is blind, or lame, or has a limb too short or too long; no man who has a broken leg or a broken arm; or who is a hunchback, or a dwarf, or who has a growth in his eye, or who has a boil-scar, or scurvy, or crushed testes. No man among the offspring of Aaron the priest who has a defect shall be qualified to offer God’s offering by fire; having a defect, he shall not be qualified to offer the food of his God (Leviticus 21:16-21).

CONNECTING THE DOTS ABOUT PURITY AND PERFECTION

What is the connection between non-virgins, divorcees, widows, and those who are disabled and therefore forbidden to function as priests? Is their lack of perfection, their differences from the norm perceived as dangerous to the status quo? If we are different, we are dangerous. Our status is unclear.  Perhaps the widow reminds her friends of death—we are all mortal; and the spouse who was beloved by all is missed and the widow is a constant reminder of their own loss as well as hers. In my particular case, my friends and family check in on a regular basis, just to see that I’m okay, the assumption being that a newly widowed person is not okay—because she is not the norm. I was welcomed to the “club” six months ago. In my caretaker support group, which has been meeting for four years, we had a discussion if the many new widows (and widowers) among us should stay in the group. Ultimately, we decided that we should stay together, because all of us would end up in that status and could offer support and experience as needed.

If virgins are considered to be pure, as opposed to non-virgins what do we do about rape victims? Jacob Milgrim in his commentary on the Book of Leviticus, wrote that the word חללה  (cḥalalah) refers to a raped woman (someone who has been penetrated, pierced, fatally wounded). Does this mean that we are not to welcome into our community rape victims? And what about amputees? Do we add to their suffering by not welcoming them?

Society has come a long way. We now talk about those who have suffered not only physical wounds, but also those who are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Despite this recognition, there are not enough psychiatrists, social workers, and psychologists to deal with the many people who are suffering today in our community. Our entire close-knit community is unraveling because there are not enough people in the caring professions. We are too busy fighting our wars to take care of the victims of these wars.

Rabbi Lauren Tuchman, who is blind, writes that “Our sacred texts continue to be used as weapons of exclusion”. She asks whether “a supposed broken body equals a broken person? What does that say about the ways in which we subconsciously or otherwise dehumanize those without a perfectly normative presentation?” She concludes:

When reading or teaching Leviticus 21, don’t shirk it off and pat yourself on the back for the fact that times have changed. Ask hard questions. In what ways is this text still so relevant to our current society? …How do we silence those who are different, subtly and explicitly, because their stories and experiences, their truths, make us uncomfortable?

Nuance is difficult for most people, because it implies dialogue, the ability to see the “other” as being worthy of respect. So we go on screaming at each other, incapable of listening to those with different opinions. Not only do we not listen, we do not hear. If we did, who knows what we, or they, might be capable of learning.

Shabbat shalom