Stupid Jewish joke of the day

It seems a rabbi died not too long ago. A beloved rabbi, a learned rabbi. Such a mentsch, let me tell you.

And when he died, his soul floated through the cosmos up to the gates of heaven.

But the gates of heaven were locked.

So, he rang the bell – what else could he do?

He waited and waited and waited, and finally an angel with a clipboard arrived.

“Sign here, please.”

He did.

“Thanks, we need to check a few things,” the angel says as he turned and walked away.

The rabbi waited. And waited. And waited. (Time has no meaning when you’re dead, so who knows how long it is.) But after what seems like a very very VERY long time, he heard the silvery blast of trumpets, and a pimped out chariot rolled up.

Well, the gates of heaven flew open as an Israeli bus driver – decked out in his Egged uniform, covered in sunflower seeds, and draped in more necklaces than Mr. T lumbered out of the chariot.

The rabbi was shocked that this guy got in so fast, while HE — a Very Important Rabbi — was kept waiting.

So, he rang the bell again.

The angel returned: “What.”

The rabbi sucked air through his teeth: “Look, I understand that G’d works in mysterious ways, but how can it be that this shlub gets into heaven before me?”

“Let me break it down for you,” the angel replied. “What matters to us isn’t what you do, but what you inspire others to do. You’re a rabbi. We know this. But let’s be real. During your services, some people pray, but most people nod off or make mental check lists, or fantasize about the hot chick a few rows over. Am I right or am I right?”

The rabbi reluctantly nodded.

“But that Israeli bus driver? well, you better believe that every single time he got behind the wheel of a bus, EVERYONE on board was praying.”


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