Superbowl XLV: Which team is Good for the Jews?

Being in the business of writing about what’s good for the Jews – which, more often than not, means actually writing about what people think is bad for the Jews – it’s only natural for me to take a look at Sunday’s Super Bowl in Dallas, a critical national event rich with meaning for every American.

I mean, if an event featuring a bunch of giants pounding the stuffing out of each other to the accompaniment of million-dollar TV ads that are treated as major cultural events doesn’t define our national character, what does?

Being a lifelong Chicago Bears fan, I can honestly say that a Bears visit to the Super Bowl would have been Good for the Jews; the Bears are an honest, straightforward team, a team I might say that reflects the hardworking character of Israel’s early settlers who built a nation not with fancy gimmicks but with toil and honest sweat.

Sadly, Da Bears didn’t survive the National Conference playoffs, I suspect to a great extent because of media bias and a campaign of delegitimization; just look at the clips of how this team that reflects the best in all of us was treated as a bunch of neanderthal brutes by leftist sports writers. Or was that rightist sports writers? I’m not sure.

I hope Bears media watchdog groups were paying attention.

Absent the Bears, the choice is between the Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers, and here again the Good for the Jews choice is obvious, although again I must confess personal bias.

I lived in Wisconsin during what are nostalgically referred to as the Glory Years when Vince Lombardi reigned supreme, and I’ve always had an affinity for the Pack. Most teams are owned by zillionaire magnates who treat them as toys; the Pack is owned by the people of Green Bay – the only genuine democracy in the undemocratic, violent neighborhood of the NFL.

And talk about overcoming adversity; plucky little Green Bay has made the tundra bloom.

Moreover, there are rumors that George Soros has some kind of connection to the Steelers, and we know what that means.

I have nothing against Soros, of course, other than the fact that he’s the spearhead of a global conspiracy to bring down every Western economy and install Muslim communist fascist anarchists in the White House, using socialistic health care reform to enslave Americans, but I can’t help but seeing signs of his influence in the bad behavior of the Steelers.

I’m sure J Street also bears some responsibility for the brutish Steelers, but I haven’t figured that one out yet.

About the Author
Douglas M. Bloomfield is a syndicated columnist, Washington lobbyist and consultant. He spent nine years as the legislative director and chief lobbyist for AIPAC.