TESHUVA – A Concept the World Struggles to Grasp

G-D, G-D, merciful and gracious… (Ex. 34:6; Selichot prayers)

I recall as a child being given a ‘magic slate’ on which I could write or draw anything I wished – and then erase it by lifting a flap and lowering it. But what can even a child expect for two shillings! Never again was it quite the same as when it was new. Gradually, with continued use, several marks and imperfections engraved themselves on the ‘slate’ until eventually it was too stained to use enjoyably.

If, as a child, I could have been transported to the 21st century and experienced electronically erasable smartboard touchpads and computer screens where, at the press of a key, I could have a typing surface as pristine as if it were new, I would have been in dreamland!

What if one day we could erase unwanted material to the extent that the slate was not only as good as new but even better – a new, improved model!

Enter the shalosh esrei midot, the Thirteen Attributes of G-D’s Mercy that form the highlight of the selichot services from day one until Yom Kippur.

When, having begged G-D to forgive the people for the golden-calf debacle, Moses is invited to ascend Mount Sinai to receive the second tablets, G-D reveals Himself in a unique vision. Moses had dared to ask G-D: “show me Your glory!”. G-D “descended in a cloud and stood with him there… passed right by him and declared: HVYH, HVYH, G-D, Merciful and Gracious…”

To examine the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy in depth would need several essays, not just one. But by far their most extraordinary aspect is the two successive evocations of the four-letter Ineffable Name of HaShem (the sacred letters of which I have purposely transposed and which we pronounce A-DO–NOI).

Nowhere else in Scripture is this supreme Name read twice without interruption. It is true that there are several instances of the four-letter Name appearing twice, but in every other instance one of the Names (almost always the second) is vocalised differently and pronounced E–lo—him.

We are not normally permitted to utter G-D’s most holy name, even as A-DO–NOI, more than once. Here of course it is G-D Himself who is doing the uttering, and G-D can break all the rules!

The Talmud (Rosh haShana 17b) offers a breathtaking insight into this dual utterance which helps us understand why G-D not only broke His own rule but allowed us to do so in the recitation of this verse alone.

The first evocation of HVYH, says the Talmud, denotes G-D who is merciful before man sins. The second describes G-D who is still merciful after man sins and does teshuva. (Teshuva is usually translated as “repentance” but actually means “return”)

This is extraordinary enough. After all, what is teshuva that it can succeed in erasing a sin as though it were never there? Clearly the three components of teshuva, the three R’s, regret, review (vidui or confession) and resolve, however sincere, would not alone be enough to repair an explosive fissure in our relationship with G-D, certainly not one like the golden-calf episode, without a mega-dose of Godly forbearance.

But there is more. The Talmud (B’rachot 34b) declares: “In the [exalted] place where a baal teshuva (penitent) stands, even a completely righteous person cannot stand”.

Why is this? Explains Rambam: a baal teshuva has tasted the seductive fruit of sin and yet has had the strength to let go, to desist, to resist, to repudiate and even to reverse his/her conduct.

This was also the strength of the Sinai generation of men which fell so badly yet transformed themselves when Moses descended with the second set of luchot on the tenth day of the seventh month which thenceforth became Yom Kippur for all time.

But even this is not all. States Resh Lakesh elsewhere in the Talmud (Yoma 86b): “Look how great is teshuva! On its account wilful sins are transformed to merits!” On another occasion, he had said they are only reduced to accidental sins! Explains the Gemara: in that former case he had been speaking of teshuva motivated by fear whereas here he describes teshuva by love! Such teshuva transforms sins to merits – because it was the very abhorrence in which the sinner now regarded the sin distancing him from his beloved G-D which caused him to return in heartfelt and passionate teshuva. Paradoxically, had he not committed the offence, he would not have reached such an exalted level.

Here then is our spiritual interactive magic whiteboard. We interact with G-D and He whitens us to be not only good as new but sparklingly enhanced!

We see this reflected even in the dual HVYH HVYH.

The ta’amei ha-Mikra (cantillation-notes) consist of two types, melech and mesharet, disjunctive and conjunctive or, better defined, conclusive and inconclusive. The note below the first evocation of HaShem is inconclusive. It is connected to the next note.

Applying an explanation of R’ Isaiah Horowitz, the Shelah (d.1630), the first evocation is, as it were, G-D questioning man. Man hasn’t yet sinned? Then it is only a matter of time. All humans are mortal and “there is none on earth, however righteous, who does only good and never strays” (Eccl. 7:20). Man is an accident waiting to happen. For Adam in Gan Eden it took hardly any time at all – and he had but one challenge from which to guard himself! Hence the note is a mesharet, a servant. Man before he sins must have a sequel. He has no chance to remain perfect. At one point or another, he will become a slave to his desire.

But the second evocation is conclusive. It is a melech, a king. Man has shown himself greater than the angels who have no desire. He has known and experienced desire and has overcome it totally. He will never revert to that sin again! With regard to that fault, man has become a baal teshuva. He has shown kingly resolve! The second evocation of HaShem takes man to a more exalted level than he had been originally!

One might add that the Tosafist Rabenu Tam (1100-1171), grandson of Rashi, famously expounds upon all the Thirteen Attributes. Of the second evocation, he too declares that G-D is still ever-merciful after the sin but strikingly does not add “only after he has done teshuva”.

Does G-D unconditionally forgive?

I could not have answered that without seeing a beautiful gloss of R’ Chaim Berlin (1832-1912) on the verse in Shir haShirim (1:15): “You are beautiful, my love, you are beautiful; you have doves’ eyes”.

The first “you are beautiful” –  hinach yafa – is, he says, equivalent to the first evocation in HaShem HaShem – before the sin. The second hinach yafa is after the sin.

How come she is still beautiful and with eyes like doves after the sin?

States R’ Berlin: a flying dove always checks for markers so that she can find her way home. A Jew, no matter how far from home he has strayed, can still return – and, if he doesn’t, be sure his descendants eventually will!

The world has never understood the concept of teshuva. Society goes by the adage “a leopard cannot change its spots”. It is unforgiving to those who have fallen foul of its increasingly “woke” rules. Apologies, contrition, self-flagellation, remorse however sincere is not sufficient in today’s “cancel culture” society.

G-D, however, is different. He not only accepts teshuva but, if motivated by love, He regards that person’s failings as transformed into merits.

We are enjoined to emulate G-D, are we not! That means letting go of resentment or “principled” posturing, and generously forgiving wrongs done to us by others, especially if genuine remorse is shown. That magic Yiddish word fargin. If we do, we can be absolutely certain that G-D will treat us in the same way!

Gmar Chatima Tova!