Teshuva, Tefilla, Tzedakah – The Inner Work of Returning

We say it so fast during the Yamim Noraim that we almost don’t hear it:

U’Teshuva, U’Tefilla, U’Tzedakah ma’avirin et roa ha’gezeira.

Teshuva, Tefilla and Tzedakah avert the severe decree.

But what decree? And why these three?

Our rabbis teach that these three aren’t three random good deeds. They are the repair of the three relationships that break every year — the relationship with ourselves, with HaShem, and with other people. If we truly want to understand where our year went off track, look there.

Teshuva — Returning to Yourself

Teshuva does not mean repentance. The root is lashuv — to return.

I am not trying to become a new person. But rather trying to return to the person I was before I got tired, cynical, defensive, busy.

Most of us don’t wake up in the morning and decide to be far from ourselves. We drift. We say yes when we want to say no. We speak harshly because we are stressed. We scroll because we are lonely. We slowly become someone we don’t fully recognize.

The Hebrew word for sin, chet, is an archery term. It means you aimed for the target and you missed. Not that you are evil. Just that you missed.

Teshuva is the courage to ask the question where did I miss? Not to punish ourselves, but to be honest.

The Rambam (Maimonides) says something radical.

The proof that our teshuva is complete is not that we feel guilty. It’s that we are in the same place, with the same person, with the same temptation as before — and we choose differently. Not because someone is watching. But because can can no longer betray who you are.

The deepest secret of teshuva is when we return out of love, not fear, and our past mistakes become merits.

But the ultimate question is how?

Because a person who has fallen and gotten up knows how to be compassionate. He doesn’t judge others quickly. He knows what it feels like to fail. His wound becomes his wisdom. That is how a sin becomes a zechut.

We must ask yourself this Elul, what is one place in my life where I am living out of habit, not out of who I really want to be?

Tefilla — Returning to HaShem

If teshuva is between me and myself, tefilla is between me and HaShem.

But tefilla also doesn’t mean “prayer.” The root is pallel — to judge, to think, to make an assessment. Lehitpalel — to judge yourself.

We think tefilla is about asking HaShem to change. Tefilla is really about letting HaShem change us.

All year round we think that we are in control. That our intelligence, our network, our hard work are the source of our lives. Tefilla is three interruptions a day where we say Baruch Atah — you are the source.

We don’t pray to inform HaShem of what we need. HaShem knows. We pray to inform ourselves that we are not alone.

That is why the most powerful prayer in Judaism is the silent Amidah. No choir. No performance. Just us whispering. Because intimacy is quiet.

We often can’t pray because we haven’t done teshuva first. If I don’t know who I am, who is praying? If I am full of ego and resentment all day, my words won’t lift. First I have to return to myself. Then and only then can I return to HaShem.

We must therefore ask ourselves, if I knew HaShem was listening right now, not as a judge but as a father who loves me — what would I actually say? Not what is in the siddur but rather what is in my heart?

Tzedakah — Returning to Others

One can do teshuva alone in a room. You can also do tefilla alone in a field. But, we cannot do tzedakah alone or by ourselves.

Tzedakah is often translated as charity, but it means justice. Righteousness. It is not about being nice. It is about being true.

Money is the most honest spiritual diary. It informs us about what we actually value, not what we say we value. Tzedakah begs the question – do we believe that what I have is ours, or that we are the guardians of it?

When we refuse to give, it is usually from fear. If I open my hand, I will have less. I will be less secure.

Tzedakah suggests just the opposite. When I open my hand, I become more secure, because I am building a world where people take care of each other. I am declaring that I do not live in a world of scarcity, but in a world run by a generous God who asks me to be generous too.

Friends, this is the ultimate final test. It is easy to feel spiritual in shul. It is harder to be spiritual when the pushke or tzedakka box is passed around, or when someone needs your time, your attention, your forgiveness.

Teshuva without tzedakah becomes self-absorption.

Tefilla without tzedakah becomes escapism.

Tzedakah without teshuva and tefilla becomes ego.

Together, they are whole

So what is the roa ha’gezeira, the evil decree, that these three tear up?

Maybe it is not a decree written in heaven. Maybe it is the decree we write for ourselves year after year.

“I’m always going to be like this.”

“HaShem doesn’t hear me anyway.”

“People will never change. The world is selfish.”

Teshuva tears up the decree that says I cannot change.

Tefilla tears up the decree that says HaShem does not care.

Tzedakah tears up the decree that says others do not matter.

When those three inner decrees are torn, the outer decree no longer has power over us anymore. We are already living a new year.

That is the work before Ne’ilah. Not to become perfect but rather to return.

Return to yourself. Return to HaShem and return to each other.

And the gates, which were always open, will finally feel open.

With warm wishes for Shana Tova Umetuka.

May HaShem grant acheinu bnai yisrael a year of forgiveness, excellent health, bracha, achdut and shalom.