The 9 Days & Meat: A Siyum Too Far?
This week, we will usher in the month of Av, and with it, the 9 days – including the Ashkenazi custom not to eat meat.*
This will lead to a flurry of fancy restaurants reconfiguring their menus to include extended fish and other pareve offerings, alongside numerous siyums that provide a loophole in the no-meat rule.
However, both of these trends miss the point: The custom not to eat meat is part of the general principle, expressed in the Shulchan Aruch, that “when Av enters, we minimize our joy.”**
If, in fact, Av becomes a month of fancy fish meals and festive siyums held in the name of eating meat, then the month becomes a season of its own special kind of fun, instead of a season of mourning.
Granted, there may be plenty of times that we fulfill the letter of the halacha without adhering to the spirit; indeed, halachic commitment warrants fulfilling the law even when it doesn’t resonate with us. It is impossible that every Jew will connect with each of the 613 mitzvot. Obligation means that we perform the law even when we struggle with a lack of meaning in doing so.
But in this case, we are speaking about customs, not laws, whose entire existence is there to inculcate us with a certain emotion. If the entire community flouts the custom by actively looking for every loophole, this raises questions about the custom’s validity.
The Shulchan Aruch records that: “There are those who have the practice” to not eat meat during the 9 days, while adding that “Whoever eats meat in a place where they have the custom to forbid it is trampling a fence and will be bitten by a snake”. This phrase is the language used by classic halachic sources that wish to express the strong force of a custom that lacks the weight of halachic obligation.
The source of the loophole for eating meat at siyums is the Ramah;
“At a seudat mitzvah ….such as… a siyum masechet … one may eat meat and drink wine – all those who are connected to the meal. However, one should limit this and not add. And during the week in which the Ninth of Av falls, one should not eat meat or drink wine except for a limited minyan.“
Note that the very source that allows loopholes for siyums also stresses the importance of minimizing siyums and not creating especially large siyum meals for the purpose of eating meat. It is intellectually dishonest to accept one part of the loophole without the other.
The Mishnah Berurah, commenting on the Ramah, explains that if a person would not naturally finish a Masekhet such that they would have a Siyum during the 9 days, they should not learn at a different pace in order to do so. Additionally, if they don’t usually celebrate a siyum with a festive meal, they should not do so during the 9 days. Furthermore, he adds that only those who are necessary for the minyan, part of the host’s family or “would generally be invited due to friendship…because of closeness or because he is beloved of him”, throughout the year may be invited to partake of meat at a siyum during the 9 days. The Mishnah Berurah concludes that “Anyone who would not come because of closeness or loving friendship but only to eat and drink has a sin in his hands”.
This is with regards to the 9 days in general. When it comes to the week in which the 9th of Av falls out, which is treated more stringently and to which the Rama applies a “limited minyan” requirement if one holds a siyum, the Mishnah Berurah says:
“A limited minyan – that is, except for relatives who are exempt from testifying (about the person doing the siyum, due to their close familial relationship), and except for those performing the mitzvah, it is permitted to add ten people because of friendliness -and the rest must eat dairy.”
This is a far cry from the exuberant community siyums that act simply as meat-eating mechanisms, which are timed to fall out during the 9 days, and to which people are invited who would not normally be expected to attend, but are included simply in order to facilitate their eating meat.
What are we left with?
- According to the Shulchan Aruch, some have the custom of not eating meat during the 9 days. This is not halacha, but a very serious custom -one who violates it will be metaphorically bitten by a snake.
- According to the Rama as understood by the Mishnah Berurah, one may eat meat during the 9 days, but not make a siyum especially in order to do so, and may not excessively invite guests who they would not normally invite were it not the 9 days. Furthermore, if one holds a siyum during the week in which Tisha B’Av falls out, only the learner, their family, and a minyan of ten men they are friendly with may eat meat at the siyum.
- According to the Mishna Berurah, one who goes to a siyum they would not otherwise attend with express goal of eating meat, “a sin is in their hand”.
The upshot is that our community is not properly observing the custom of not eating meat. It is not keeping its siyums limited nor distinguishing between the 9 days in general and the week of Tish B’Av. The custom is to not eat meat unless one happens to be throwing a siyum, and even then, not to invite unnecessary guests. The custom is not to throw large siyums with many guests in order to facilitate eating meat. Thus, by using the siyum loophole to maintain the letter of the custom, we are in fact, failing to observe the letter of the custom.
One might bemoan that this lack of seriousness reflects a lack of mourning for the Beit Hamikdash. But in fact, mourning for the Beit Hamikdash does not come naturally to us and it didn’t come naturally to generations of Jews before us -that is why the rabbis instituted these customs, through the belief that if we act in ways that reflect mourning, that will inculcate in us a feeling of mourning.
I believe the bigger issues are 1. Materialism. What does it say about us as a community if we cannot refrain from eating meat or fancy restaurant meals or parties for 9 days? 2. Comfort: Halacha demands of us a certain amount of discomfort. It is not comfortable to fast. It is not always comfortable to keep Shabbat. There are legitimate, important questions about the line between discomfort and suffering -because halacha demands discomfort, but it does not demand suffering. Indeed, the rabbinic tradition is to see the minimization of suffering as a core religious value that guides halachic decision-making. But if we want to be serious in our efforts to ask these questions, we need to also ask ourselves what are the circumstances in which we prioritize halacha and customs over other values. If we feel that the value of a nice meat meal trumps the value of mourning the Beit Hamikdash as borne out by a custom recorded in both the Shulchan Aruch and the Mishnah Berura, then there are serious questions about the importance we place on Judaism as a halachic system that governs our life choices.
But I confess, maybe I’m biased, because I’ll always choose pizza over a hamburger.***
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* For Sefardim, customs of mourning start the week of Tisha B’Av.
** The discussion here is based onשולחן ארוך אורח חיים תקנא: א, , ט, י, יא and the Mishnah Berurah’s commentary on those paragraphs.
*** Also, hopefully this won’t even be relevant because Mashiach will come today.
