The Answer is “No”

Can’t we just be happy? Twenty living hostages returned home to Israel. Reason to celebrate. Yet commitment to insisting on the return of the remaining bodies held hostage in Gaza pervades public discourse. Parents who fought for the return of their living children, now restate their commitment to continue fighting for the return of hostages’ bodies for proper burial.

Sometimes, I have moments, yet to be articulated, when I think about bodies of innocent Gazans which will never have a proper funeral.

Do you still wear your yellow ribbon pin? Did you remove the yellow ribbons from your car? The questions and answers flood social media, public discourse, and private conversations. A friend left me a voice message about the picture of a returned hostage she passed in her neighborhood. She told me why she didn’t remove it. Today, in my neighborhood, Yair Horn released from Gaza eight months ago, and his brother, Eitan, released this past week, removed the posters with their pictures. Major institutions – like hospitals – removed banners saying we await them. Hospitals, of course, await the living.

A family on the street that leads into mine awaits the return of their son’s body. I discovered that this week when a neighborhood WhatsApp group posted times for silent demonstrations of support for 30 minutes across the street from the family’s home.

Last night, I heard a hostage’s father interviewed. He expressed joy and relief for families reunited with their loved ones on Monday, without denying his envy of them. The interviewer asked if he fears how he will feel when his son’s body is returned. The father’s unhesitating response: “I’m afraid of who I will be after his body is returned.”

Hamas returning bodies held hostage appears erratic, surprisingly possible, entangled in layers of political debris shifting under the weight of chaos. Two more hostages’ bodies are expected to be returned tonight. The body of the only woman who had still been in Gaza, Inbar Haiman (27), was returned this week on the same day as the body of Sgt. Maj. Muhammad al-Atrash (39).

Sgt. Maj. al-Atrash lost his life in battle on October 7 and was abducted to Gaza. Watching his funeral on television, I thought about the complexity, at times absurdities, of being a citizen of Israel who is not Jewish. Arabs, Arab-Bedouins, Muslim and Christian, Palestinian citizens of the State of Israel serving in the Israel Defense Forces are the exception, not the norm. They have their reasons, whether offered incentives, or fulfilling their perceived civic duty and gaining personal growth despite controversiality in their communities.

The al-Atrash funeral. In the Bedouin village which was his home. An IDF soldier buried in a coffin, protocol, wrapped in an Israeli flag. A national flag. Symbols of one population group. Political disputes over burials in military plots alongside Jews.

Threshing through commentaries, then avoiding them, encountering them in another op-ed praising or ridiculing Trump, grateful for the return of all our living hostages, wary of him, not surprised by his endorsement of Hamas taking out gangs that collaborated with Israel. Not surprised Hamas takes arms Israel provided those gangs. Waiting for Israeli accountability.

Subtexts in Knesset speeches during Trump’s appearance. Opposition leader, Yair Lapid chose his words as any politician would. Gideon Levy’s op-ed in Ha’aretz reminded me – just because Lapid makes a statement that no starvation took place in Gaza doesn’t make it true and doesn’t exonerate Israel from its role in it. Politicians vying to write the post-war narrative.  For Netanyahu’s part, that narrative of unity and togetherness is no less than invalidating any action against him, any voice condemning his legislative attempts to strip the judicial system of its power. Democracy education in Israel failed.

We have reason to worry about our safety and security. Palestinians in the West Bank have reason to worry. Uncertainty hovers over Gaza. It is impossible to foresee Israel’s next national election results. Will Jewish political discourse, right and left, discourage Israel’s Arab population from voting? Will civil society prove its potential, accrued and fortified in the past three years?

I’d like to be happy, but the answer is “no” – we can’t just be happy. It’s like a Jewish wedding. The groom breaks a glass as the couple and those fulfilling the mitzvah of bringing them joy and happiness on the happiest of days, share the moment of that symbolic act of remembering the destruction of the Temple, placing the memory of Jerusalem destroyed above our greatest joy. And we must always examine our role in circumstances that led to destruction. Baseless hatred – in our narratives and in our discourse, among ourselves and towards others.