The Bias of Expectation

In international politics, perception often matters more than principle. Consider how the world responds to conflict in the Middle East. When Iran fires rockets at civilian areas—targeting homes, schools, and hospitals—there is silence, or at most, vague calls for “both sides” to de-escalate. But when Israel responds, even with precision strikes against military targets shielded by human lives, global outrage erupts. Why? Because the world expects more from Israel.

This isn’t because Israel is worse—it’s because it’s seen as better. A democracy. A Western-aligned, morally conscious nation. Like the well-behaved child in the classroom, it is held to a higher standard. And when it acts in a way that falls short of those lofty ideals, it’s not just criticized—it’s condemned.

Iran, by contrast, is the international community’s “problem child.” It funds terror, incites genocide, and brags about its brutality. But the world shrugs—“That’s just Iran.” Its cruelty is almost expected. There’s no disappointment, because there was no hope to begin with.

And here’s where the parallel becomes painfully personal: we do this with our own children.

The kind, thoughtful child who usually behaves is often the one we scold more harshly when they slip up. The sibling who’s more difficult? We let things go, explain it away—“That’s just how they are.” But by doing so, we invert fairness. We punish goodness and excuse badness. We make the mistake of confusing expectations with justice.

This double standard isn’t just unfair—it’s damaging. The child who tries hard begins to feel unappreciated. The one who struggles is never challenged to grow. And resentment, confusion, and emotional distance set in.

Whether in parenting or politics, the bias of expectation warps our judgement. Holding someone to a high standard should never mean blaming them for defending themselves—or excusing someone else for doing harm simply because we expected it from them.

Justice, at its core, demands clarity—not perfection. And love, whether for our children or for truth, demands consistency.

Because when we expect more from the good and nothing from the bad, we don’t raise standards—we lower them.