This is not real life. It’s fiction. Drama. Strictly from my imagination. The plot needs some refining but the cast of characters is already looming too large. And they don’t seem real. They’re like characters in a fairy tale. Frightening. Menacing. Nightmarish. Whew. Happy to wake up and discover it’s been a bad dream. Nothing more. Let me delete the worst of them and start again.
I’ll delete the evil prince. No fairy tale is complete without a prince. Usually he’s the guy who saves the day. My prince is a monster. He dresses in white but the blood he draws doesn’t splatter on his dashing outfit. He’s got some nasty ways of dealing with people he doesn’t like. In my book he dispatches a team of murderers to an embassy in Istanbul. I think the scheme is too unrealistic. It calls for his henchmen to lure the guy, in this case a journalist, into the embassy, chop him up and dispose of the pieces. Some people heard screams but that could have been innocent. Maybe someone saw a mouse. The part I like best is when the victim’s double walks out of the embassy intact, so the cameras can catch him leaving. I add a bit of whimsy by the double’s shoes not matching the reporter’s. Clever eh? But no. No one would ever think this was a taste of realism. They’d brand it as ridiculous. I’m going to delete the evil prince, even though, in my story, he is a good buddy of an American prince who comes calling so the two of them can figure out an innocent way of giving EP, evil prince, nuclear weapons. Ridiculous.
There’s another ridiculous character to delete. I’d like to have called him Pinocchio because he can’t tell the truth. It’s like he just doesn’t know how. And he can’t read or speak very well either even though he lies and tells everyone, in the whole world, just how smart he is. But, like a little kid he’s removed his report cards so we can’t see them. I think he’s not really smart at all. I put him in a position of great power. The most powerful person on earth. Lots of people grovel before him. I don’t know if he gets away with murder but he gets away with lots of other crimes. He also likes EP, evil prince. He knows the story about the reporter but he doesn’t believe it. And oh yes, he’s so vain. He thinks he’s the most beautiful of all, with a mane of dyed blond hair. He never heard of Snow White I guess. It’s a convoluted thing here in my imagination since this Pinocchio guy believes what he wants to believe, only, and we don’t believe him at all. But he got to be so powerful. I just don’t understand how but my publisher says it’s not realistic. It’s not possible. That I’m crazy for including such a character in my story.
Then there’s the Jew hating US representative from Somalia. Definitely a deletion. Like all Jew haters she says she doesn’t hate the Jews. It’s just that the Jews are all terrible people. They send money to this place far away called Israel. And they are so powerful. Wherever you go you hear about their power. They are controlled by something called Benjamins, which I think are units of money. I’m writing my story so I can get some of them but my characters don’t ring true so I guess I won’t get any. There goes my power. Poof! No Benjamins for me. But this lady is pretty scary because, in my story, lots of people listen to her. She’s like a real life Haman. Where’s our Queen Esther? Glad it’s fiction.
Another of my main characters is a really chubby young guy in a place called North Korea. My Pinocchio fell in love with this guy and, another of P’s lies, promised us that the tubby wouldn’t hurt us. Their love affair was all over the news and what a ridiculous looking pair they were. Tubby does have brains and I promise you that I really could see him winding Pinocchio around his little finger. My publisher didn’t like this. He’s a fan of happy endings. This one could end in a really big war. Not exactly a happy ending at all. I’m going to delete him too.
Lest I forget there’s this famous prime minister named Bibi. He learned a lot from Pinocchio. Those two are really good buddies. But I think I’m going to exclude Bibi from my story. I don’t think there’s a place for him anymore. He hooked himself up with the wrong crowd and, power to the people, a rebellion is at hand. At least in my story.
I’ve got many more characters but it doesn’t seem like my plot thickens. It actually seems like the plot sickens. Maybe I’ll revert to non-fiction. Much less complicated.