The Cult of Self-Care and More Bava Basra 93-96

93

The Cult of Self-Care

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses an interesting protocol from Talmudic times:

עוד מנהג גדול היה בירושלים – מפה פרוסה על גבי הפתח; כל זמן שמפה פרוסה – אורחין נכנסין. נסתלקה המפה – אין האורחין נכנסין.

The baraisa continues: Another great custom that was followed in Jerusalem was that when one made a feast, there would be a cloth [mappa] spread over the entrance to the hall. As long as the cloth was spread, the guests would enter, as the presence of the cloth indicated that there was food for more guests. When the cloth was removed, the guests would not enter any more.

Ben Yehoyada notes that the custom runs against a common sense, non-verbal cue. A cloth over the doorway should indicate a disinvitation, while an open doorway should indicate a welcoming gesture. Ben Yehoyada says it was deliberately enacted via these counterintuitive signs in order to jolt the would-be guest into being attuned to subtle signs. Basically it’s saying, don’t assume an invitation is real, perhaps your host felt unduly pressured or obligated but really cannot afford it.  Do not just barge in; feel out the situation.

Ben Yehoyada’s idea embodies a particular kind of humility and mindfulness which we might say is part of the Yiddish word Eidelkeit. Eidelkeit is a disposition of courtesy, concern for others’ feelings and needs, tact and other refined qualities. I recall my father telling me a family legend about how when his grandmother was forced to abandon their homestead of hundreds of years due to the arrival of the World War I battle front, overrunning their shtetl, she swept the floor. “We don’t want the goyim to think we are slobs.” Imagine the internalized sense of nobility and self-respect. A horde of heathens are trampling and stealing your birthright, and what is your first instinct? – They shouldn’t think we are slobs. This is the opposite of victimization and self-pity even in the face of a crushing evil empire. 

Western culture values assertiveness and self interest over many other considerations, so our ancient traditions and attitudes of respect and magnanimity toward others can become eroded in the cult of self care. In the correct proportion, self care is psychologically vital. However, a form of self care is also dignity. Excessive focus on self care leads to self absorption and unhappiness. We are being sold and promised false goods and false gods. 

Many civilized and otherwise moral persons believe that advocating no-questions asked abortions on demand is the height of virtue, assuring the woman’s right to choose her body destiny. The same goes for ideas such as physician-assisted suicide. Yet these are beliefs and actions which are disrespectful of humanity’s divine purpose and value, and they desacralize life. This leads to a lack of self care coming from nihilism and lack of meaning. They wonder, “Why invest in life, the future and your children if nothing matters?

94

Don’t Invite a Heavenly Audit

Our Gemara on Amud Aleph discusses an interesting psychological and legal phenomenon. There are certain thresholds of defects or deficiencies in a purchased item which are tolerated, if not expected. Therefore, while one is not allowed to deliberately adulterate grains or beans, if a minor and typical amount of dirt, sediment or pebbles etc are found in the mixture, the buyer has no recourse. Furthermore, if he finds the product to have an amount of impurities over the expected threshold, the buyer may demand that he sift the produce thoroughly. Once attention is devoted to refining the product, the seller cannot merely bring the contaminant level back to below the regulated amount. Instead, he must remove all the foreign matter in the most thorough manner. 

This concept of once there is extra scrutiny, there is a reduction in tolerance and forgiveness, is a metaphysical truth and pattern as well. I will quote a number of traditional sources to show the myriad ways this pattern of human and physical nature manifest themselves:

Rosh Hashanah (16b):

ואמר רבי יצחק: שלשה דברים מזכירין עונותיו של אדם, אלו הן: קיר נטוי, ועיון תפלה, ומוסר דין על חבירו. 

And Rabbi Yitzḥak said: Three matters evoke a person’s sins, and they are: Endangering oneself by sitting next to an inclined wall that is about to collapse; expecting prayer to be accepted, as that leads to an arrogant entitled assessment of one’s status and merit; Anyone who passes a case against another to God is punished first. 

המוסר דין על חבירו – הוא נענש תחילה. שנאמר: ״ותאמר שרי אל אברם: חמסי עליך״, וכתיב: ״ויבא אברהם לספד לשרה ולבכתה״. והני מילי דאית ליה דינא בארעא.

One who passes the judgment of another to Heaven is punished first, as it is stated: “And Sarai said to Abram: My wrong be upon you, I gave my handmaid into your bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: The Lord judge between me and you” (Genesis 16:5). 

Likewise, we have a tradition that in times of danger or even unusual good fortune, Satan, in the form of a heavenly prosecutor, arouses the heavenly court to sit in Judgement about you. (See Rabbenu Yonah Berachos 43a, and Gemara Berachos 54a.):

אמר רב יהודה: שלשה צריכין שימור, ואלו הן — חולה, חתן, וכלה. במתניתא תנא: חולה, חיה, חתן, וכלה. ויש אומרים: אף אבל. ויש אומרים: אף תלמידי חכמים בלילה.

Rav Yehuda said: Three require protection from harm: A sick person, a bridegroom, and a bride. It was taught in a baraita: A sick person, a woman in childbirth, a bridegroom, and a bride require protection from harm. And some say: Even a mourner. And some say: Even Torah scholars at night. (Those whose thoughts are focused elsewhere or are in a weakened physical state require protection, or I wonder if perhaps their scholarship could trip them up by being overly confident.) 

There is even an idea that one should be careful to think Torah thoughts during the moments after washing for bread while waiting for the leader to recite the Hamotzi blessing. Since at that time while waiting for the blessing, he must not be occupied with distractions, this is a time that is devoid of Torah and mitzvos, putting him in mortal danger (Beis Yosef, OC, 98:10:1) as Satan might sieze that time to prosecute him when he has less active merits. This is the spiritual equivalent of an IRS audit. Once you are under scrutiny, they find all kinds of things. 

One might ask, granted this kind of unequal enforcement is a practical necessity of fallible human law, but should divine law not be absolute, consistent and precise? To answer that, we have to consider that divine justice, while absolute, also is related to the subjective, human experience. This can be understood better by what we discussed in blog post Psychology of the Daf, Bava Basra 92. Over there we noted  that a good portion of Torah law and prohibitions are about obedience and adherence to norms that promote societal welfare and personal balance of character (see Moreh Nevuchim III:26 and 27.) Therefore, if a prohibition is nullified, such as a small amount of unkosher food is no longer an apparent act of violation, as the forbidden action or substance is not manifest. This also can be used to explain the Rambam’s distinctive position that according to basic Torah law it is not prohibited to violate an ambiguous or undetermined prohibition, such as eating a piece of meat that it is unclear if kosher or not. The idea that one must err on the side of caution, and strictly abstain from even possible prohibitions of indefinite status is only rabbinically mandated. See Laws of the Impurity of a Corpse, 9:12.)

95

It Doesn’t Grow on Trees, You Know! Or…Does It? 

Our Gemara on this daf discussed wine that begins to become vinegary, and at what point does it lose its status of wine. In such a case, the blessing might revert from “Hagafen – He who creates the fruit of the vine” back to “Shehakol”, the universal blessing that one makes for foods that do not grow or have a specific status, drinks, meat, and other items.  Food items that have distinction or unique status tend to get their own special blessing, such as the Hagafen that we just discussed and also Hamotzi, the blessing on bread.  According to Gemara (Berachos 35b), wine has dual qualities, “it satisfies, and gladdens”, and so it deserves its own Beracha.

If we compare the words in the blessing of “Hagafen – He who creates the fruit of the vine” to “Hamotzi – He who takes bread out of the ground” we will notice something odd.  “He who takes bread out of the ground” Really? I have not seen bread grow on trees! Bread is made through a process of threshing the grain, grinding it, kneading the dough, letting it rise, and baking it.  It certainly does not pop out of the ground! Yet, the blessing is thanking God for bringing bread out of the ground. This is precisely the point. Even though you have to work hard for it, never forget that God is the one who really gives it to you.

But what about the blessing on wine, which is crafted in the opposite manner? Here we recite, “He who creates the fruit of the vine.” The blessing references the fruit, not the actual wine. Ironically, the blessing on grapes is not “He who creates the fruit of the vine”, but rather “He who creates the fruit of the tree.” (See Shulchan Aruch OC 202:1). Pashut peshat, we can say the Hebrew word, “Peri”, fruit really means produce or product.  The main product of grapes in wine, not grapes.  Still, how do we account for the textual difference between wine and bread?  Why not say, “Hamotzi Yayin, He who brings wine out of the ground?”  

I will suggest that there is a subtle message here about wine. Human industry and ingenuity can be harnessed for lofty, or sinful pursuits, and the choice is solely ours. God says to those who might abuse wine (which is far less likely the case by bread), “Don’t blame me, I did not make the wine. YOU made the wine, I just made grapes.”  This is why the blessing focuses on the grapes.

96

In Vino Veritas

Our Gemara on Amud Beis discusses a principle of Oenology, which has halachic and metaphysical implications:

דאמר רבא: כל חמרא דלא דרי על חד תלת מיא – לאו חמרא הוא

Rava said: Any wine that does not contain three parts water to one part pure wine is not regarded as wine, as it is excessively strong.

In those days, the original wine mixture was so potent, that when they actually drank it, they had to water it down.

When we find something in the natural world, the mystics tend to attach a spiritual significance to it as well.  The more prominent or impressive the item is in this world, the more consequential it is in its spiritual manifestation in higher realms.  Sex, food, love and wine all occupy a special place in the mystical world because they are so powerful in this world, and so must represent the tip of the iceberg, and a deeper universal truth.  The Shalah (Toldos Odom:15) famously takes this principle to its ultimate conclusion. He states that every word in Hebrew, the holy tongue, is a metaphor or borrowed term from a spiritual reality. He says the Hebrew word for rain, geshem, is not actually rain. Rather it means the way in which God brings down sustenance and blessings from the upper world to all the lower worlds to allow for growth and development. In this world, rain is the physical manifestation of that, and thus Hebrew uses geshem as a metaphor to represent rain.

Therefore, the process of blending wine with water must also mean something. Dover Tzedek (Kuntres Ner HaMitzvos 2) says that Torah is compared by scripture and rabbinic literature to wine, water and milk (see Ta’anis 7a.)  These must be blended properly to achieve the final refined product of Torah study and action: A perfected soul and character.  (What I am about to say is adapted from the Dover Tzedek but not precisely his thoughts.)

Water represents God’s unvarnished, but also unmoderated, raw truth. Just as water is simple, unprocessed, abundant, clear, and vital to life, so is God’s basic truth in its most unprocessed manner.  

The milk part of Torah represents the sweetness, which is a feeling and sensation. As it states in Shir Hashirim (4:11): “Honey and milk under your tongue.” That is in the realm of the heart.  There are emotional arousals and stirrings that come from Torah which are attitudes, dispositions, moods and mental states which are not rooted in rational, linear thought.  And just as it stays under the tongue, so too these ideas, intuitions and perceptions are often better left unsaid, as they are in a mystical, impressionistic form and defy explicit verbalization or representation. 

Finally, we have the wine part of the Torah, which is the product of fermentation. This is the derived wisdom that comes from creating a balanced mixture of raw truth, impressionistic truth, and deductive analysis (water, milk and wine). Just as one can justifiably argue that wine is the most refined and cultivated food, a unique encounter between Man’s technology and Nature, leading to altered states, the same can be said regarding the Torah thoughts and states of mind that comes from a fully integrated assimilation of Torah.