The Demons of our Past, The Opportunities Now Before Us

Recently, I received a call from my high school reunion committee chairperson inquiring in her wonderful Southern drawl if I would be coming to our 65^th reunion!  Politely declining, as I have never been back to any of these prior gatherings, in true form I retained my distance from that period in my life.

I guess “reunions” of all types are designed to somehow, even for a few hours, take us back into another part of our lives and place us in a time capsule, allowing us the privilege of reliving pieces of our past.

Her call would however prompt me to revisit my school yearbooks and the 2000 class directory, only to realize, yet again, how time has transformed the lives of each of us.  One leaves high school carrying different experiences, only to uncover that decades have passed and suddenly asking how that could be!

For some, high school represented a period of acquiring friends and growing one’s sense of self, while for others, those four years have been neatly packed away, as they only bring forward feelings of disappointment and disconnect. For me, it was mostly the latter. In so many ways, my rebellion against “growing up Southern” has continued throughout my life. Did I not escape segregation, a distorted view of the Civil War, and the memories of being required to visit shrines and memorials devoted to a discredited and distant way of life?

Being Jewish was so core to my youth that the remnants and politics of the Old South just did not fit into my sense of social justice. My break was both personal and collective. Personal in that I did not want this to be my story, therefore this sharp and permanent break. Collective in the sense that the civil rights revolution which followed my tenure in Virginia would align with my sense of Jewish responsibility.

Indeed, time is our enemy as memories and images fade, old relationships and connections are lost, and our lives are altered and forever changed by the choices we make and the distances we create. The 21^st Century world in which we reside today is so profoundly different from the 1950’s.

Many of my classmates are no longer with us. When reading their obituaries, not something that I would normally do, one draws comfort from the impact that their lives have had on their loved ones, on the institutions that they served and cared about, and on the broader society where their contributions will continue to have meaning and value. In so many cases, whether consciously or not, they too have shed their old South past!

One thing we know, our generation has had a profound impact on society. For good or bad, we are each experiencing such different outcomes as a result. Culture, politics, technology, and values are all shifting, remaking the way we see and understand what has happened during our lifetimes, even as we are uncertain about this particular moment in our nation’s story and what all of this current chaos may mean.

While I am not going back for this final reunion, I will honor my classmates, their lives and contributions, even as I struggle with the demons of a scared history.

Using our lives as a teachable moment, we are able to offer a historical perspective to our kids and grandkids, our students and colleagues.

May we each embrace our own unique journeys! Taking time to remind ourselves and our peers that it is important to reflect on one’s life by sharing the tales of the past, providing insights about these complex times, while at the same moment, acknowledging our lives as well-lived!