The Esrog Watch

Yesterday, Tim Cook unveiled the much-rumored and highly-anticipated Apple Watch to decidedly mixed reviews. As I am in the middle of preparing High Holiday sermons, my mind drifted towards possible homiletic parallels that might be drawn between Apple, Inc. and the Apples that we will soon be eating with honey. From there, it was a quick jump to the Biblical apple – the one in the Garden of Eden that played such a critical role during the very first Rosh Hashanah.

CAIN: Hey Dad, do you like the new Apple Watch? ADAM: Don’t TOUCH it!

— Zvi Hershcovich (@cholentface) September 10, 2014

It was going to be an interesting sermon, until I remembered that the conception of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge as an apple is a Western Christian idea – perhaps the result of a Latin pun between the words malum (apple) and mālum (evil). The Talmud actually presents three different opinions, speculating that the fruit was either a grape, fig, or wheat.

The Midrash adds a fourth opinion, speculating that the fruit, described as “good for food, and…a delight to the eyes,” was actually an etrog. That really got me thinking.

• The #EsrogWatch may have cool features, but you still need to carry around all the other gadgets for it to function.
• The #EsrogWatch is extremely customizable, available in a variety of skins and “gartel” styles.
• The #EsrogWatch may be a bit pricey now, but will surely be much cheaper only a few weeks following its release.
• The #EsrogWatch allows users to easily share heartfelt (and heart-shaped) anti-Zadokite feelings with High Priests.
• Each successive model of the #EsrogWatch seems to cost more, even if the technology really hasn’t improved all that much in the last year.
• The #EsrogWatch will vibrate to help the user stay on course and avoid unfortunate #iLulav stabbings during Hoshanot.
• The #EsrogWatch comes pre-loaded with the Na’anuim App, which can be set for Ashkenazim or Sephardim – but only for right-handed users.

Add your own in the comments or at #EsrogWatch!