The Four Sons of New York

On Wednesday night, Jews worldwide sit down for the annual Seder, the festive Passover meal we have celebrated every year for about 3,000 years. Before the meal begins, we read from an ancient text known as the Haggadah, with each guest reading a passage as we go around the table.

The Haggadah tells the story of the Exodus of the Jews from Egypt after 400 years of bondage, their wanderings in the Sinai desert, and their arrival 40 years later at their destination, the Promised Land of Israel. It’s composed of passages from the Hebrew Bible, prayers, stories, and songs.

One ancient passage of the Haggadah is known as The Four Sons, essentially archetypes of four sorts of Jews. These are the Wise, Evil, and Simple sons, and a fourth known as He Who Doesn’t Know How To Ask (really the clueless son).

So now let’s take a look at how The Four Sons voted in New York City’s recent mayoral election.

The Wise Son, what says he? “I voted against Mamdani because he wishes the Jewish State to be destroyed. To quote the sages, if I am not for me, who will be?”

What does the Evil Son say? “As an ‘As A Jew’ virtue signaler, I voted for Mamdani either because of, or despite the fact, that Mamdani wants the Jewish State destroyed. Voting for a Muslim allows me to show just how woke, open-minded, and inclusive I am. It’s all about me.”

The Simple Son, what does he say? “I’m the ‘Never Trump’, ‘Never Cuomo’, or ‘Sliwa Only’ voter — no matter the outcome.”

And what says the Son Who Doesn’t Know How to Ask? “I’ve been blissfully unaware of Mamdani’s expressed desire to see Israel destroyed. Haven’t seen this in The New York Times or heard it on NPR. Where’d you get that from, Fox News? I’m going to have to verify that.”

The Haggadah instructs us that in each generation, every Jew must see themselves as former slaves freed from Egypt. Seems that too many New York City Jews (around a third) have somehow forgotten where the Jews went after leaving Egypt.

Let’s remember that the Passover Haggadah doesn’t end with “Next Year in Park Slope or the Upper West Side”.  On Passover, the Jewish People declare our yearning from time immemorial for “Next Year in Jerusalem.”