The Four Traits: Service vs. Self-Centeredness

It was a hot summer morning, and the air conditioning once again struggled to keep the shul comfortable. A few fans had been placed around the room, including a small one near me that made the heat much easier to bear.

Then a new problem arose. At its higher settings, the fan’s white noise disturbed another member of the minyan during the quieter parts of davening. I appreciated the fan because it made the heat bearable. He appreciated the quiet because it helped him concentrate. Both preferences were reasonable. The question became how we should balance two legitimate needs.

At first glance, this seems like a small issue about a fan. Yet it revealed how quietly self-centeredness can work its way into even our holiest moments of service.

One of the Four Traits is service, our commitment to place serving our Creator above serving ourselves. Every trait is challenged by an opposing pull. The pull that opposes service is self-centeredness. 

When we pray alone, we adjust our surroundings as best we can and then focus on our conversation with Hashem. In a shul, however, we share the experience with others. Temperature, noise, and pace all become communal decisions, and that is where self-centeredness quietly enters.

The morning minyan is one of the central acts of daily service for a Torah-observant Jew. We gather to praise, petition, thank, and serve our Creator. Yet even in this holy setting, our first instinct is often to think about what will make our own davening better.

The Ari, Rabbi Isaac Luria, taught that before beginning prayer, a person should consciously accept the mitzvah, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Many traditional siddurim include this brief declaration immediately before davening.

Whether or not this was the Ari’s specific intent, the practice speaks directly to moments like this. Communal prayer requires us to place the needs of others alongside our own. Sometimes that means accepting a warmer room, a quieter fan, or a different pace than we would choose ourselves.

If we can set aside our own preferences for the sake of others before davening begins, we have already taken the first step toward what our sages call the Service of the Heart.