Marriage Education, Enrichment / Enhancement & Advocacy
The Holidays Are Over. What Comes Home With Us?
The shofar has been put away.
The sukkah has come down.
The dancing of Simchat Torah has ended.
And now we go home.
But perhaps that is where the real opportunity begins.
During the Jewish holiday season, we reflected. We asked forgiveness. We made resolutions. We prayed for a good year.
Now comes a more personal question:
What will the person I married experience from me in the year ahead?
Because teshuvah and character refinement don’t end in the synagogue.
They come home with us.
From “ME” to “US”
That question has been at the heart of my “From “ME” to “US” Marriage Renewal Series.”
We began by looking inward: What traits do “I bring into my marriage?”
Then we looked outward: What positive qualities can strengthen the “US” we are building together?
Now, as the holidays end and ordinary life begins again, comes the opportunity to put those lessons into practice.
Not by changing our spouse.
THE REAL QUESTION TO ASK
Here is the better approach:
What can EACH OF US contribute to creating a more loving home?
Marriage may be one of our greatest opportunities for character refinement because our spouse experiences the side of us that others often don’t. Think about the following twists in our behavior:
Patience is easy—until it is tested.
Kindness is easy—until we’re tired.
Shalom bayit is easy—until we’re convinced we’re right.
TRY A DIFFERENT APPROACH IN THE COMING DAYS
Choose one of the eight positive qualities which I identified in the series, which are:
Appreciation. Curiosity. Kindness. Gratitude. Patience. Generosity. Partnership. Spiritual Connection
Which one could make a difference in your marriage?
More appreciation instead of taking each other for granted?
More curiosity instead of assuming?
More kindness when irritation would be easier?
More gratitude for the ordinary things your spouse does every day?
More patience when you disagree?
More partnership—less “ME versus YOU?” and more “what is best for US?”
We don’t need eight resolutions. Choose one.
And then bring it home.
What Does Love Look Like on an Ordinary Tuesday?
A loving marriage isn’t built only through anniversaries, vacations or grand gestures.
It is built in the ordinary moments. Add your own to the following loving gestures:
Thank you.
Tell me more.
I’m sorry.
How can I help?
I’m glad you’re here.
MARRIAGE EDUCATION MOMENTS
Small words. Big impact.
That is also why I believe so strongly in marriage education.
We don’t have to leave strong, satisfying marriages entirely to chance.
We can learn.
We can become better listeners.
We can express appreciation more often.
We can recognize habits that create distance and replace them with habits that create connection.
And we can do this BEFORE a marriage is in trouble.
Isn’t that what we want for Jewish couples—not simply marriages that survive, but marriages with the opportunity to thrive?
One Question for the Month Ahead
So as we move from the intensity of the holidays back into everyday life, I invite you to choose one positive trait for your marriage.
Then, at the end of each day, ask:
“What did I do today to bring more of this quality into our ‘US’?”
Don’t measure your spouse. Start with yourself.
Because eventually the sukkah comes down.
The machzor returns to the shelf.
The holidays end.
Marriage continues!
And perhaps one of the most meaningful resolutions we can carry forward is beautifully simple:
Let the person I married experience the best of the person I am trying to become.
IMMEDIATE OPPORTUNITY FOR INVESTMENT IN OUR MARRIAGE
That is why I am especially excited about the timing of our next Together in Happiness webinar.
This Wednesday, October 7, we are presenting a FREE 60-minute online event:
“The Secret to a Happy Marriage: Building Better Middot”
Our guest is Charlie Harary—entrepreneur, educator, speaker and author of *Unlocking Greatness*—and I will have the privilege of moderating the conversation.
At its heart is the same question:
How can becoming better versions of ourselves help us become better partners in marriage?
Here are the registration particulars:
Wednesday, October 7, 2026
19:30–20:30 Israel | 12:30–13:30 EST
Register here:
BRING IT HOME
At Together in Happiness (B’Yachad B’Osher), we believe Jewish couples deserve opportunities to strengthen their marriages throughout the journey—not only when something is wrong.
Because marriage education is not simply about repairing what is broken.
It is about nurturing what we treasure.
The holidays may be over.
The inspiration doesn’t have to be.
Let’s bring it home.