And now for something completely different . . .
The Houthis: A Linguistic Reappraisal
Linguistics was one of the required courses in my graduate curriculum. I fancied myself a student and teacher of literature, and the scientific study of morphology, syntax, phonetics and other such gripping topics left me cold. The only thing that I can actually remember from the course is that the sound of the vowel in the word “the” is called a schwa. How delighted I was to learn that it derived from the Hebrew “shva”! (How disappointed in myself I was that it took me a few weeks to figure this out!)
As much as I disliked Linguistics, my distaste for the Houthis is a few orders of magnitude higher. Linguistics never tried to kill me in the middle of the night. It never interfered in disputes that were none of its business. It never took resources that could have been devoted to feeding starving children in Yemen and used them to deploy weapons of mass destruction against innocent civilians. It never, except before one particularly threatening test, woke me up in the middle of the night.
What is particularly irritating about the Houthis is that there is no apparent earthly justification for them to be intruding themselves into the conflict and, in the process, making the lives of downtrodden Yemenis even more miserable. You don’t like Jews? Fine. Get in line. But why go so far out of your way, to your and your people’s detriment, to get involved in a war? Why can’t you just march and yell slogans, like your idiot coreligionists and fellow travelers throughout the world? I expect stupidity and ignorance from you, but not insane and senseless self-destructive behavior.
And then I remembered Linguistics, and a resolution to my conundrum presented itself that is probably wrong in every possible way, but would explain the intractable question: who the hell are the Houthis and why the hell are they bombing me?
I will first provide the conventional wisdom, to preserve some intellectual rigor and so that you will know that I am not a total idiot. In the pedestrian, unimaginative wisdom on the subject, which sheds no light on my question, the word “Houthi” derives from Arabic, more specifically from the name of a former commander of the group, Hussein Badreddin al-Houthi, who came from the Yemeni village of Hut (pronounced Khoot, rhymes with toot). The Al-Houthi family claims descent from Hasan ibn Ali, the grandson of the Prophet. They thus are of the Sayyid class and follow Zaydi Shi’ism.The fact that they are Shia and side with the Palestinians is a bit strange, since the vast majority of Palestinian Muslims are Sunni. But, of course, the paymasters and spiritual guides of the Houthis are the Iranian Mullahs, who are Shi’a, and whose hatred of the Jews outweighs their distaste for the detested Sunnis.
On this theory, the Houthis, motivated by religious fervor and big bucks from the Iranians, are prepared to put the lives of their compatriots, airports, and ports on the line to support the savagel Hamas movement and kill Jews. Ok. I get it. But, still, why them as opposed to the other billion or so Muslims in other non-contiguous Arab countries who aren’t lobbing in missiles?
Here’s where my graduate study of linguistics comes in. This level of committed hatred and irrational behavior makes no sense if they are just ordinary Arabs or Muslims. But suppose a historical/linguistic analysis reveals them to be Jews? Jewish hatred for Israel and other Jews is never questioned. It is taken for granted and excused. No one asks Norman Finkelstein why he says repulsive things about Jews or the Holocaust. Peter Beinart wants the State of Israel eradicated? Of course he does; he’s Jewish. He can get paid $25,000 a pop speaking to Temple Emanu-El members and calling for the abolition of the Jewish State. Because he and they are Jewish. Jewish Voice for Peace? Not in My Name? Tom Friedman? Noam Chomsky? The Union for Reform Judaism, the Central Conference of American Rabbis, the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism, the National Council of Jewish Women, the American Conference of Cantors, HIAS, the Rabbinical Assembly (Conservative), the Jewish Council for Public Affairs, the Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association. The heads of all those organizations signed a document condemning Israel’s behavior. If you slipped in “The Houthis,” would anyone notice? Of course not.
But only if they were Jewish. Then they would fit right in.
There is a “Jewish exemption” allowing Jews to say the most hateful things about Israel and Zionism. How else do you explain Ha’Aretz and its commentators? Yair Golan talking about war crimes? Ehud Olmert? Ehud Barak?
Jews. Exempt.
But, you say, the Houthis are not Jewish and their mindless hatred can not be excused by the Jewish exemption.
Consider this linguistic approach: Mordechai probably lived in Persia during the 6th or 5th Century B.C. He is involved in the story of Esther, but that is not relevant. What is relevant is that he is described in Megillat Esther as איש יהודי (“Ish Yehudi”), which means either a Jewish man or a man from the tribe of Judah, even though he was from the tribe of Benjamin. It is well-known that when Cyrus the Great allowed the exiled Jews to return to Israel at the end of the 6th century B.C., many Jews did not return, but stayed in the Levant. Some settled in Yemen, where, much later, the Houthis appeared.
Is it too much linguistically to suggest that, for those Jews, yehudis, who settled in Yemen, Yehudi morphed into Hudi? And that the prophet from which the Houthi tribe claims descent is not that other prophet, but Mordechai? Linguistically, the word Yehudi–Jew–could easily have transmuted over centuries to Ye Hudis, or, eventually Houthis. That would explain everything.
If you think that likelihood too far-fetched (which, for years, I thought was a Yiddish word), consider that they follow Zaydi Shi’ism, that is, the Shi’ism they learned from their Zayde–grandfather (Mordechai?), or, in other words, Judaism.
Everything is thus explained. For while the irrational hatred of a bunch of yahoo Yemenite Muslims might seem inexplicable, sadly, we have come to feel totally comfortable with the irrational, mindless, enmity of our fellow Jews.
In case you were wondering, this is all a joke. Except those parts that aren’t, which are a genuine tragedy. God willing, we will survive and defeat the murderous plans of our non-Jewish enemies. We always have. But we must somehow extirpate the cancerous hatred of our Jewish brethren, and educate their children to the fact that they are being taught lies and calumnies against the Jewish people. This is the greater struggle.
I just remembered that the name of my Linguistics Professor was Sumner Ives. He passed away in 1984 without ever apologizing for giving me my only B in graduate school, which is probably a better grade than I deserved. Given the statistical odds, he might have been an anti-Semite. And there is no excuse for that, because he wasn’t Jewish. Or a Houthi.