Andrea Karshan

The Lashon Hara of Saw You at Sinai Matchmaker Notes

I found out that even though my account is disabled on SYAS there are numerous matchmaker notes (probably from people that I don’t even know) saying negative things about me. I wasn’t supposed to find out about this because matchmaker notes are kept private and members aren’t supposed to know what they say. But several people connected with the site informed me that these notes were written.

The way that SYAS matchmaker notes work is regardless of whether or not they are your assigned matchmaker or whether or not they know you they can leave a note about you. Basically, it’s a bunch of random people (who are matchmakers on SYAS) leaving lashon hara about the members. The notes don’t need to be facts.. they can just be opinions.. and even though in theory they are supposed to be based on truth they can be complete lies.. and if it is a lie since the member is totally oblivious to the note and is never asked if the information is true or not they don’t get a chance to refute it. So the notes work as a rumor mill, random matchmakers sharing their thoughts on random members. It’s lashon hara at its finest.

Judaism speaks strongly against lashon hara. And I would hate to see someone miss out on a Shidduch because of this practice on the part of SYAS.

I urge Rabbonim and others who support and/or use the SYAS site to speak out against this practice. Hopefully, that will encourage SYAS to change this policy and end the practice of matchmaker notes being done this way.

Originally published on Andrea Karshan | A Collection of Articles

About the Author
Andrea Karshan is a Jew currently living in Chabad Crown Heights. She was born a Patrilineal Jew to a secular Jewish family with a Jewish father and Jewish stepmother. She then became Christian, and then was a Muslim for 13 years. She then did an Orthodox conversion to Judaism. She is passionate about Judaism and loves being a Lubavitcher. She has three Muslim kids from her previous marriage to a Pakistani. And she fights hard to combat Islamophobia and Antisemitism. And she is pro-Israel pro-Palestine pro-peace pro-truth activist.
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