Tova Goldman
Qwerki Quotes and Inspirational Thoughts.

The Laughter that Freed Me From Stigmas

Chodesh Tov Everyone!
According to the Hebrew calendar, we are now entering the new month of Adar. It is a month where we celebrate the miracle of Purim (yes, a one-day holiday has turned into a month of celebrations…)
As a mother, Rosh Chodesh Adar marks a dual purpose on my calendar of life. 1) It marks the end of the school year. Yes, I know the school year ends in June, but from here on in it is just one party, one celebration after another.  So what my children have learned till now- I’m grateful for, anything that they might learn after this is a bonus.
The other thing that  Rosh Chodesh Adar marks is when I actually have to wake up and start planning Pesach not just denying its imminent arrival.
I love the month of Adar. I don’t love all the balagan (sorry there is no real translation for that word, basically it means mess, but it’s much deeper, much wider, and much more all-inclusive than just your ordinary mess), and the stress that comes with it, -, especially in recent years where it seems that everyone has to receive a themed expensive mishloach manot. But I love the happiness the month brings with it. It is a month that brings with it its crazy joyous energy and somehow we all get swept up in it.
This is the month when the kid in you not only comes out but jumps for joy at the sheer wonder of being alive.
As a person who has made it her mission to spread happiness and joy to as many people as possible the message of this month really resonates with me.
Every week my co-host and I @Yael Shoshanni- Mabsuta we get together and do 2 podcasts to spread happiness and joy.  The English one is simply called: “The Shmooze” where we shmooze about life, love, television, and everything in between.  If you haven’t watched it yet- change that right now!!!
The Hebrew one is called Sodan Shel Nashim Smichot. where we interview happy people to try and learn from them. Here is the link for the Hebrew one.

So every week we get together and have a great time. It has happened several times where we start laughing and we can’t stop.  People see us laugh and laugh with us.  People see us as funny, happy, and inspirational people. and the truth is we try to be.

But here is the thing, and the purpose of this week’s blog post. We don’t always see people laughing in the same way. I am embarrassed to tell this story, as it shows me in a not-so-good light, but I think the story is important and can shed some light on letting go of stigmas and just enjoying life:
The source of the month of Adar.
Recently I was on the bus, and sitting across from me were 2 males laughing hysterically. Their laughter was loud, rambunctious, and uninhibited. They had their own private jokes and they were laughing about them. They were happy to just be alive. These 2 males were also with Downs Syndrome. So when they were laughing my initial reaction was that  it was “strange” and it was “not normal”
These were my initial reactions, – like I said I am embarrassed to share.  Thankfully though I caught myself. And I started asking myself some hard questions. I said Tova, what is the difference between what you do every week, to what these men are doing now?  And the initial painful answer that I answered myself was that I’m normal. But then again I caught myself. What is the difference between my hysterical laughter and theirs? What makes my laughter ok, and theirs weird?  And the answer is that there is no difference. There is only the stigma and perception that I am “normal” so it is “ok” for me.
This was an eye-opening and painful experience for me as it forced me to acknowledge and admit my own prejudices and stigmas. It is also painful to share it in a public forum, but I hope that by sharing I will be doing a form of teshuva. (repentance)
It also forced me to look at life openly, honestly,  and in a new light. So as painful as this experience was it also gave me a new and fresh perspective and gave me a much-needed kick in the butt.
I think that I had this experience in order to give me a  lesson in humility and in order to show me how very far I am from my true self.
These men were so free and so uninhibited with their laughter and their happiness. Once I had the initial conversation with myself I found myself smiling along with them.  Their joy was infectious.  I also found myself feeling a bit jealous of their lack of inhibitions and their ability to just be happy and live in the moment.
Perhaps this is the true message of the month Adar.
Let go of your inhibitions!
 Let go of your stigmas!
Let go of your prejudices!
 Let go of your fears!
Chodesh Tov Everyone!

As always Qwerki Quotes & Inspirational Thoughts comes from my life and my observations of  my adventures

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About the Author
I am happily married with 7 children, 3 sons-in-law, 3 grandchildren and please GD many more. I believe that the mixture between humor and inspiration allows us to move and groove to a different beat. I am not political, not a femisnist and not afraid to open my mouth and shout my truth.