The lunatics are in charge of the asylum

You might have missed the exciting and important news from Great Britain, brought to us in today’s Daily Telegraph.

The headline says it all: “Take on more magistrates with criminal records to help improve diversity, law chief suggests”

Yes, we can learn from our good friends in Britain; the time has come to diversify Israel’s society.

John Bache, the chairman of the UK Magistrates Association suggests that a more representative set of magistrates would make those accused of crimes feel less alienated by the justice system. There is no reason not to let a criminal sit in judgement of other criminals.
“We all make mistakes, we all do things we shouldn’t have done. But we want to increase diversity,” he told the Telegraph.

Leaving aside his rather divisive use of English grammar (“we all do things we shouldn’t do”) and his failure to tell us about his own mistakes, we should adopt and widen his revolutionary ideas.

Imagine how much easier it would be for our hard-working and under-manned police force if they could enlist burglars to investigate house break-ins, rapists to interview rape victims, murderers to track down murderers. Much valuable experience is being wasted; people with hands-on knowledge of a wide range of crimes are sitting in our prisons, while our police force consists of nothing but policemen. Where’s the diversity?

The fire brigade would benefit from the addition of pyromaniacs to its ranks. Firemen, instead of wasting their time, sitting around, waiting for the occasional and unpredictable call to a fire, could enjoy a large number of carefully planned spectacular conflagrations. They would really earn their keep.

Any shortages in our medical services could be quickly overcome by letting patients with serious illnesses take over from our doctors. Anyone visiting a surgery, apprehensive and in pain, would feel so much better if they were being treated by someone with the same disease. “It hurts me just here ….” “I know, I know. You’re not the only one; I have the same thing, only my pain is much worse.”

But the real advantages of this daring plan to increase diversity only become apparent when we look at our security forces. Instead of wasting potential resources by imprisoning or, heaven forbid, killing, terrorists with blood on their hands, we could let them join the Shin Bet. We would gain much know-how, and the world would applaud our diversity – a win-win situation. Less successful terrorists, caught before they were able to carry out their deadly plans, could be inducted into Zahal, the Israeli army. They could learn how to improve their techniques.

And, as a final step in this revolution, we could put the lunatics in charge of the asylum.

About the Author
The author has been living in Rehovot since making Aliya in 1970. A retired physicist, he divides his time between writing adventure novels, getting his sometimes unorthodox views on the world into print, and working in his garden. An enthusiastic skier and world traveler, the author has visited many countries. His first novels "Snow Job - a Len Palmer Mystery" and "Not My Job – a Second Len Palmer Mystery" are published for Amazon Kindle. The author is currently working on the third Len Palmer Mystery - "Do Your Job".
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