The Party’s Over

“Two of the saddest words in the English language: ‘What party?’” — Carrie Fisher

A Post-Election Cautionary Tale
After the November 3 election, a lifelong friend unexpectedly reached out to me. She had been deeply disappointed when I walked away from the Democrat Party following Kamala Harris’s embarrassing defeat in 2024. My socials clearly reflected my abandonment the following morning. #WalkAway

As the Democrats celebrate their many victories—gloating as though they’d pulled off some kind of political coup d’état—she saw this as an opportunity to welcome me back into the fold.

What followed turned into the perfect salve for this brutal election season—and an unexpected lesson in self-love, loyalty, and the freedom to say goodbye.

We tore into a marathon text exchange careening from antisemitism to islamophobia, Donald Trump to Benjamin Netanyahu, the dangers of the Democratic Socialists of America to the demise of MAGA, and eventually to something far more personal: my character.

My friend, whose name shall remain nameless, is a passionate Democrat. She’s smart, committed, and genuinely believes in democracy. Something I’ve been questioning for a long time, particularly with unlimited money corrupting our political system. Though I respect her beliefs, somehow she couldn’t reciprocate.

Truth is, we probably agree on far more than we disagree about, which makes what happened next all the more frustrating.

She couldn’t understand why I wasn’t celebrating the election results as an opportunity to return to the fold and embrace the values I’ve held—and still hold, frankly—since my first presidential election in 1976, when I voted for Jimmy Carter. Yes, I am that old.

I voted for several Democrats in this election and haven’t abandoned my democratic principles. I’d just stopped suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome because he was initially helping Israel.

Gift horse—mouth.

I kept hammering home that I hadn’t crossed the aisle on November 5, 2024. I’m luxuriating somewhere in the middle and simply refuse to belong to either party.

[SIDEBAR] And can we stop calling them parties? There’s nothing festive about either one. They’re more like dysfunctional family reunions where everyone insists they’re right. It’s like Thanksgiving every day. They’re both insufferable when you don’t align with everything they stand for. Then the vitriol begins.

At one point, my friend accused me of giving up.

She had read my memoir and wondered why I always seemed to walk away from things when they became difficult. She mentioned my father’s business, my career in the fashion industry, Hollywood, and the other opportunities I’d left behind.

Wow!

Of all the things she could have taken away from my story, giving up was not how I look back at my choices. At all.

Because if there’s one thing my book demonstrates, it’s that I’ve spent my entire life doing precisely the opposite.

I’ve said YES to opportunities that frightened me and learned when to say NO at critical times. I’ve taken risks, endured disappointments, survived losses, and reinvented myself. All while being true to myself, speaking up, and refusing to compromise who I am.

The greatest lesson I’ve learned is that sometimes the bravest thing you can do is leave. Like when I stepped away from the family business I had inherited after my father died.

Walking away is my superpower.

Which brings me to my momentously joyous times with Carrie Fisher. Years and years, on and off.

Working for Carrie was arguably my biggest professional “get.” I had entrée into the inner workings of Hollywood—the kind of access people spend entire careers trying to achieve. And what an enormous creative writing master class it was!

Intimate, emotional, unforgettable.

Yes, I walked away. Why?

Not because I couldn’t handle the job. On the contrary, it was brilliantly hilarious. The issue was recognizing the trajectory of the relationship and knowing it wasn’t going to end well—for either of us.

Sure, I could have stayed for the prestige, the access, and continued slinking around in the orbit of celebrity, or I could choose what was ultimately best for me. Had I stayed, my life, health, and legal standing would all be in question.

So, I chose myself. And in hindsight, I chose life. Who gave up what?

It was the clearest demonstration of the person I have always been—a free spirit determined to live an interesting life, not necessarily a conventional one. Hence why I NEVER took a corporate job EVER.

Life is choice. We must live with the outcomes. Which brings me back to the Democrat Party. For decades, I was the truest, bluest Democrat. I believed in the party’s commitment to civil rights, equality, women’s rights, and social justice.

None of that has changed. But after October 7, 2023, something had, in fact, changed—drastically.

Shocked by what was happening with antisemitism erupting in the streets, I began posting on social media, standing proud as a Jew and a Zionist. Then I watched friendships unravel, political alliances fracture, and Jew-hatred become a subject of endless qualification and debate.

I’d never hidden my Jewish identity or my Zionism. Not in 2017, when Nazis marched in Charlottesville, and not in the years since.

I began to feel politically homeless. And when the 2024 election came and went, the final nail went into the Dem coffin.

Political parties be damned. No Party Preference. Independent. Free. At last.

My friend saw this decision as abandoning the fight. I saw it as refusing to keep fighting under a banner that has become loudly anti-Zionist. The Dems no longer represented me and my peoplehood, which became Issue #1 in honor of my parents.

I am that rare son of Holocaust survivors. Seeing those keffiyeh-faced lunatics reminds me of why I never had grandparents.

The Dems have reason to celebrate. Enjoy. But after years of Trump Derangement Syndrome posts, political outrage, and endless finger-pointing, I’d love to see the same enthusiasm directed toward fixing what’s broken in our political system.

I see the Democrats as every bit as corrupt as the GOP. The hypocrisy, the endless fundraising, the political gamesmanship, the ideological purity tests. The woke bullshit. All reasons I shall remain true to my decision to scramayvoo.

In fact, we Independents need our own version of a Statue of Liberty with a plaque that says:

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free from both parties.” — Abe Gurko

Because all politics is local, these days I’m exploring ways to help identify and support candidates at the local level who demonstrate integrity and reject antisemitism, regardless of party affiliation.

From now till death do me part, I’m focused on Jewish storytelling, combating antisemitism, strengthening Jewish voices, and embracing the creative industries.

I haven’t stopped advocating for women’s rights, human rights, democracy, or the future of Israel. And as a homosexual, I have zero tolerance for how many queers have embraced people who would ultimately kill them.

Our texts were spirited, yet neither of us moved the needle.

One of the great gifts of getting older is realizing there’s no need to justify your decisions to people who knew an earlier version of you. You can love your friends without sharing their politics. Or, in my case, just ignore them and find solace in more quiet time to write my next book.

My life has been a series of doors opening and closing. Some I slammed shut. Some closed in my face. Others swung open, and I walked through without knowing what was waiting on the other side.

That, my dears, is not giving up. It’s living my best life.

My friend and I ended our exchange the way lifelong friends should. With love and good tidings. She’ll continue fighting her fight. I’ll continue writing mine.

We don’t all have to march under the same banner to care about the same country. Especially when the country I care equally about is far away.

We don’t have to belong to a party to participate in democracy. I didn’t walk away from my values. I walked away from the idea that a political party gets to define them.

And I will spend the rest of my life living up to my ideals and the title of my memoir: Won’t Be Silent — Don’t Stop ’til It Matters.

If you haven’t read or listened to my book, please do. Click here.