I would never blame anyone for being sex-obsessed. Not everyone has had the possibility to prepare themselves like responsible therapists, spending hundreds if not thousands of hours reviewing and crying over every memory of theirs connected to sexuality in any way at all and any hurt inflicted there. But I take a stern approach to people who’re obsessed by sex and still declare themselves a beacon of moral purity. The Vatican, again, has condemned same-sex marriage as inherently sinful. Wim Kan said sharply: If you don’t play the sport, you should stay out of the rules.
Two things about that first. One, don’t blame the regular Catholics. They, on average, do with their religion what it’s for. To choose virtue over vice, love of people over hating people, being a source of goodness. When I say any harsh words to the Vatican, I don’t mean all Catholics. Two, traditional Christian theology has been obsessed with suffering and sexuality. You don’t need to be Freud to understand why. But let’s be clear that they are obsessed with sex and they read others the riot act? Unacceptable!
Classical Christianity got into trouble when it encountered the Hellenist world where everything centered around sex, and the more the better. So, understandably, they chose to see sex as dirty and sinful, only sort-of-allowed for making kids. With due permission, these theologians need to consult their original teachers. They are still around. They call themselves Jews. And Jews teach that random uninhibited sex is not a vice because it’s dirty but because it’s a violation of its inherent holiness. Food is not meant for entertainment, but rather, for maintaining our health. In the same way, sex is not meant for pleasure but for cementing a relationship. And then the pleasure (of the food and the sex) is G^d’s bonus on a good deed, and not sinful (or addictive) at all. Jesus didn’t abstain from sex because it was sinful but because he wasn’t yet married. The Sages tell us that the High Priest cannot even go into the Holy of Holies on Yom Kippur if he’s not married. The Messiah must be married. It’s an important ritual obligation.
I think that I know why so many gay men recognize themselves in the story of King David and Prince Jonathan. Not because there is anything overtly mentioned about sexuality between them. Rather, it’s all about deep love. Love, not sexuality, lies at the core of any sexual relationship.
The main failure of the Vatican is that they are so full of sexual frustration (I would be too if I were told that sex is dirty and abstention is holy), that they take same-sex relationships as centered around sexuality. Almost anyone happily partnered knows the depth and importance of sexuality. How it solidifies the couple, as the Bible teaches us, glues us together. But, at the basis of the relationship lie friendship, respect, love, closeness, cooperation, sharing, mutual giving, loyalty, safety, encouragement, etc. Sex is vital but only works as far as the basics have been taken care of.
In Argentina, the current Pope had a Jewish friend and his intuition is right (expressed early in his papacy) not to condemn homosexuals or their natural need for a sexual relationship. He lacks support and a theological basis to introduce respect for homosexuals including their sexuality.
This Pope, after he was elected, said: May G^d forgive those who voted for me. He’s a naughty man who knows how to think for himself. If he wants, let him ask the Cardinals why Leviticus forbids lying with a man as with a woman but does not outlaw intercourse with an animal as with a human. Clearly, homosexual sex is only forbidden to heterosexuals (for whom it would not cement a relationship and their goal only would be temporary pleasure). Let him not tell them. Let them wrestle with it. Enjoy!
All this constant chatter by conservatives against premarital sex, abortion, homosexuality, and for celibacy are signs of sex-obsessed minds. There is no reason in the world a healthy homosexual woman or man should take any preaching from people confused and obsessed about relationships.
I left out all reports about sexual child abuse in the Church and reports of a homosexual subculture at the Vatican since they’re both also the result of the official anti-sexuality doctrine and only related to their unwillingness to recognize homosexual love relationships via the adjective scandalous.