The Piece of Paper They Wave

Fathers-in-law were never known to be Mr. Nice Guy, but let’s face it — Laban takes the cake.

How many guys do you know work their sons-in-law to the point of collapse — days, nights and holidays? Then, the old men cheat their daughters’ husbands every month, coming up with restrictions, regulations and just plain lies. And it’s always the other guy’s fault.

The Talmud says this was not news to Jacob’s wives. Rachel warned Jacob at their first meeting that her father was a nasty piece of work. But Jacob was unimpressed: He had spent years with his brother Esau, no Boy Scout himself. But Rachel insisted that Jacob was no match and would emerge the worse for wear.

And he did. Laban agreed to give Rachel as a bride, only to secretly replace her with older sister Leah. That resulted in a 14-year servitude by Jacob, half of which was for a woman he never wanted. Again, Laban shrugged: I gave you Leah because in our town you first marry off the elder daughter. Sorry, that’s the law.

But the crowning moment was clearly at the end of the weekly Torah portion Vayeitzei. Jacob finally figures out that he can’t win and must take his family and flee. Laban gets wind of this, organizes a posse and gives chase, finally catching up with Jacob. The odds are clearly against the Jewish patriarch.

But then G-d intervenes.

G-d appeared to Laban the Aramean in a dream that night, and said to him, “Beware of speaking with Jacob, either with good or bad intent.” [Genesis 31-24]

You’d think that Laban would turn tail and run. That’s what far more powerful men, including Avimelech and Pharaoh, did with Jacob’s ancestors. But not this Aramean. Laban reaches Jacob’s camp on Mount Gilead and accuses his son-in-law of kidnapping his daughters and grandchildren. The idol worshipper acknowledges that G-d told him to leave Jacob alone but insists that he could still harm the younger man. Now, Laban, who couldn’t spare a moment for anybody other than himself, plays the loving daddy.

“You did not even let me kiss my [grand]sons and daughters. You have now acted foolishly.” [Genesis 31-28]

After accusing Jacob of stealing Laban’s idols, the old man starts to rummage through the belongings of Jacob, his wives and concubines. When he finds nothing, Jacob erupts, protesting the injustice of it all. Jacob says he never took anything from his father-in-law and yet was treated cruelly all these years.

Laban’s answer is simple, stunning and completely dismissive.

“The daughters are my daughters, the children are my grandchildren, the flocks are my flocks, and all that you see is mine! As to my daughters, how could I do anything injurious to them today, or to the children they have borne?” [Genesis 31-43]

Laban’s bottom line is that he could never have cheated Jacob because the younger man never owned anything. After all the agreements and contracts, Laban declares that he is the master of Jacob’s family. Jacob was merely a slave.

Laban’s words are so jarring that they defy explanation. And indeed, Shlomo Ben Yitzhaki, or Rashi, provides no commentary.

But there’s more. After making it clear that Jacob is nothing and owns nothing, Laban offers him an agreement.

“So come now, let us make a covenant, I and you, and may G-d be a witness between me and you.” [Genesis 31-44]

The story is more than just about a man with boundless chutzpah. Laban is telling Jacob that he has no rights, neither to his wives, children or flock. It all belongs to the Aramean. The treaty that Laban offers also means nothing. It is a piece of paper meant to assuage Jacob for his surrender.

Jacob has learned his first and not last lesson in geopolitics. An agreement with a weak or wavering partner is never a commitment by the strong or aggressive party. An agreement that one party feels unable to walk away from is actually surrender. Remember Britain, Czechoslovakia, Poland, Austria, Soviet Union, Belgium, South Vietnam and the Native Americans? All of them ended negotiations with their strident partners with a document titled “peace.” Their celebrations and often their lives were short-lived.

The worst of the violators was the United States, which from 1778 signed some 400 treaties on territory and compensation with the Native Americans and broke nearly all of them. Despite the mound of official documents, the Indigenous peoples were driven from their land and often massacred. In 1871, the House of Representatives copied Laban and ended recognition of Indigenous tribes as independent nations. Thirty-two years later, the Supreme Court ruled that Congress could override all the treaties signed with the Indigenous peoples. Robbing the Indigenous peoples of their land continued well after World War II. Today, nearly 80 percent of the US mainland was stolen from the Native Americans.

But it is clearly Jacob’s descendants who take the prize as history’s biggest saps. Unlike the Native Americans, the State of Israel had the means to defend itself against any configuration of enemies in the Middle East. Instead, the state chose negotiations that significantly reduced its sovereignty and encouraged the threat of military invasion in exchange for benefits for the elite. In October 2022, Israel agreed to cede its territorial waters as well as a natural gas field to Lebanon, read Hezbollah. It was a US-drafted paper that Israeli leaders termed historic, touted as the first official accord between Israel and its northern neighbor.

“We protected Israel’s security interests and are on our way to an historic agreement,” Israel’s national security adviser Eyal Hulata said.

Less than a year later, Hezbollah launched missile and rocket attacks against Israel, a war that lasted at least 13 months and led to the flight of some 500,000 Jews from northern communities. And the same US envoy, a former Israeli who fought in the army, returned to pressure the Jewish state into another ceasefire with Hezbollah, also called historic. The basis of the latest piece of paper is a United Nations Security Council that ended the 2006 war that essentially gave Hezbollah complete control over at least half of Lebanon and an arsenal of hundreds of thousands of missiles and rockets.

In the end, Jacob and Laban agreed on nothing, not even the name of the location of their treaty. But Jacob, with G-d’s mercy, managed to escape the man he had made extremely rich. Jacob and particularly his sons would learn from history and fend for themselves. They would talk and even trade with their neighbors, but never foster any reliance, regardless of their warm promises and handshakes. The only promise they trusted was from G-d.

The same can’t be said of today’s descendants in Lexus, Armani suits, Gucci shoes and blow-dried hair. They would remain loyal to their foreign masters and financiers regardless of the cost to Jewish lives and property. But they always had a piece of paper to wave. As for Jacob, what was important was that he would never fall prey to Laban again. And G-d was there to help.

Laban arose early in the morning, kissed his [grand]sons and his daughters, and blessed them. Then Laban left and returned to his home. Jacob continued on his way, and angels of G-d went out to greet him. [Genesis 32: 1-2]