Once long ago, in a country called Paras, there lived a pious and good Jew named Mordechai (his friends called him Moteke) and he had a beautiful niece named Esther and he used to sing to her in Ladino a song called ESTERIKA. The King of Paras was an old man called King Achbarosh and he asked his wife Queen Hityashti to sing his favorite hit song, THIS OLD MAN at his big party. But Hityashti refused and the king was very angry. He said: “Go, I need a queen who will love and respect me and who is also beautiful and will GIVE ME LOVE.” So they went looking all over the world and Mordechai said: “Esther, you’re not busy today preparing for Pesach, so go and take part in the beauty contest.” So Esther went and when King Achbarosh saw her he said “I’VE NEVER SEEN A GIRL LIKE YOU BEFORE. What’s your name?” and she said “Esther”, and he began to sing ESTHER MALKAT ISRAEL But she never told him that she was a Jewess.
Now Hamandijad, the king’s prime minister, hated Jews and hated Mordechai and he plotted to kill all the Jews of Shushan and Paras on Purim. When Mordechai heard this he ran to Esther and said “you’ve got to save our people,” and she said “don’t worry Hashem will help us because HE’S GOT THE WHOLE WORLD IN HIS HANDS, and I’ll tell the king that Hamandijad is a pain in the neck and I can’t stand him.” And the king said “I love you so much I’ll give you half my kingdom and do anything you say. Because I love you so much,” and he sang “GIMME ME LOVE, and then he said “hang that man who the Queen can’t stand!” And they hanged Hamandijad and his sons. And the Jews were saved and they all sang in Shushan the famous Eurovision-winning song HALLELUJAH and then they all danced to the tune of HAVA NARGHILA.
And Mordechai became the prime minister without an election. And the Jews of Paras revenged themselves on their enemies and sang WE SHALL OVERCOME, and they thanked Hashem and sang ADON OLAM, and Esther and Mordechai sang ANI MAAMIN and then they and all the Jews of Paras came on Aliya, and Popeye the sailor man also came, and they sang POPEYE OLE LISRAEL and lived happily every after in JERUSALEM OF GOLD. And that is why we celebrate Purim with fancy dress costumes, Raashanim and Hamentashen and sing the famous Purim song “ANI PURIM”.
So that is the real Megilla story on which our traditional Megilla reading is based. Strangely enough it was recently discovered and was written in English perhaps with the commendable intention of making it easy to follow for Anglo-Israelis and fellow Jews with a poor command of Hebrew..