The Rush Limbaugh Of The Jews

So, a Satmar Hasid and a Naturei Karta Hasid walk into a bar. The bartender walks over and says, “Hi guys. Why the anti-Semitic attitudes?”

Okay…so I’m still working on the punchline.

The sect of ultra-religious Jews known as Satmar are anti-Zionists. They believe that only the Messiah can create the State of Israel, so therefore any Jew who loses his or her life there; well, it’s their own darn fault and god is punishing them.

The tragic murders of three boys in Israel brought an ‘I told you so’ response from the head of the Satmars, Aron Teitelbaum. I read the account in an article on an ultra-Orthodox website. The only reason why I went to the website was because I was directed there. It was a ‘slowing down to watch the car accident’ moment for me.

Satmar Head Honcho Teitelbaum said out loud…not just in his own head…that “…it is incumbent upon us to say that these parents are guilty.  They caused the deaths of their sons…”

They did this by simply living in the Jewish homeland.

Aron Teitelbaum is the Rush Limbaugh of the Jews. Just like Rush, he says outrageous and stupid things for ratings. Just like Rush, he has, as his followers, pretty much the bottom of the gene pool. In Teitelbaum’s case, it might be the bottom of the gene puddle.

And just like Rush, the attention he receives from his outlandish performances earns him a very pretty penny. According to The Jewish Press, the last time Teitelbaum came to Israel was to attend his nephew’s wedding. An individual paid $1.1million to have the ‘privilege’ of hosting Teitelbaum while he was in Jerusalem.

That’s a pretty sweet gig.

As Israelis and as Jews we shouldn’t be outraged by the Satmar’s inane statements. They have to be taken as they were intended; as pure entertainment. Just like Rush Limbaugh.

If we make the mistake of taking the Satmars seriously, we are lowering ourselves to their level. It’s like actually believing they can fit all those clowns into a Volkswagen beetle.

Those of us who are rational human beings can use all sorts of derogatory terms to describe Teitelbaum’s statements concerning the horrific tragedy that occurred in this country a few days ago. We can take out our Thesaurus, begin with the word, ‘disgusting’, and spend the rest of the day building on that. Let’s not waste our time.

Me? I’m sticking to the word ‘amusing’. And leaving it at that.

About the Author
Charley Warady is an author/writer/stand-up comedian, living in Israel since 1996...and surviving.