The Shebrew language revolution

The recent discovery of the female-friendly language called Shebrew has opened a new page of hope and pride for women who previously were obliged to use the male-dominated Hebrew tongue. Now, thanks to Shebrew, Israeli and Jewish women all over the world are able to express themselves with a hitherto unknown measure of freedom and clarity which the use of Hebrew had previously denied them. Interestingly enough, the male users of traditional Hebrew often fail to grasp the meaning of Shebrew when used by their wives or other female members of their family. In fact, a majority of traditional Hebrew speakers have been shocked by the widespread popularity of Shebrew among the female population and have even gone to the extent of calling for its removal on the grounds that it has unlawfully dealt a criminal blow to centuries of Hebrew language unchallenged dominance. Shebrew solves many of the known complexities of Hebrew speech, grammar and spelling and makes it altogether a previously unknown pleasure for its legions of female users.

The momentous  discovery and instant universal embrace of Shebrew was largely due to the research of the prominent Shebrew University Professor Shivrit Goldwasser who for many years studied and questioned the prevalence of Hebrew among both men and women and realized that Hebrew-speaking women everywhere needed their own favorably Revised Version, and so she eventually came up with the earth-shaking discovery of Shebrew which caught on immediately with women who for so long had lived in the shadow of Hebrew. The Shebrew language Revolution made headlines all over the civilized and uncivilized world and also struck a huge blow for female equality long undermined by male superiority. So if you visit Israel in the near future don’t forget to bring with you your copy of “The Shebrew Language Revealed” which will enable you to fully understand what the Israeli women are saying and enable you to participate in the conversation on an equal footing.

Of course, amid all the above excitement, we forgot to mention that in reality Shebrew and Hebrew cannot exist because the one and only language of Israel and the Jewish People is called Ivrit and it is used happily day in day out by both men and women of all ages and political hues in Israel and elsewhere.