The Trumps & Netanyahus Go to Dinner: A Double Date to Remember

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After a busy day touring the Old City and shaking hands (vigorously) with the who’s who of Israel, one can imagine that all the Trumps wanted to do tonight was kick back and let loose (go on, Melania, you deserve it).

Luckily, they had the best double dinner date in town – joining the Netanyahus at the Israeli Prime Minister’s Jerusalem residence on Balfour Street. Sara and Bibi certainly know how to have a good time (and pay for it), and no expense has been spared: the red carpet has been laid, the bubbly aplenty and no curfew.

Here are all the juicy details of what happened at the Commander in Chief’s house call – right after the signing of the guest book:

THE MENU

Enough with the ketchup on well-done steak… for this week. Since Donald Trump, who has proudly articulated a love of fast food (especially McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and Wendy’s; he claims they are ‘guaranteed to be safe from any contaminants’) the hors d’oeuvres were generously sponsored by The Colonel himself. The dining began with Mini Tower Burgers; it’s basically a schnitzel (a nod to the locals), coated in a secret blend of 11 herbs and spices, accompanied with a golden hash brown, decadent tasty tomato mustard sauce, crisp lettuce and sweet mayo. (Note that the cheese will be eliminated to adhere to Kosher guidelines.)

Of course this was paired with Sara Netanyahu’s favorite NV Armand de Brignac Ace of Spades Rosé. Bibi and Sara know that ‘The Donald’ takes his food very seriously (and even considered duplicating the US President’s red button in the Oval Office – the one, when pushed, summons a butler with a Coke.) Therefore, dinner was Trump’s mother’s famous meatloaf recipe. Martha Stewart was even flown in to make the dish herself. For dessert, both couples took a dip in a pool of pistachio ice cream.

WARDROBE

What did President Trump wear tonight? Israelis are known for some bold fashion choices, and like they say, when in Rome (that’s actually on Wednesday, so tonight Trump continued to don his signature dark suit and red power tie). As for the First Lady, Melania skipped the exclusive Karl Lagerfeld white cashmere, and got comfortable in a borrowed piece from Bar Raphaeli’s favorite Hoodies ad.

Disappointingly, it seems Prime Minister Netanyahu ditched his colorist.

CONVERSATION

Conversation flowed easily, especially since Sara brushed up on her golf knowledge. The prime minister reminisced fondly over the time Jared gave up his teenage bedroom for Bibi when he had once spent a night at the (other) real estate mogul’s home in New Jersey.

The first ladies got a little tipsy and Sara continued to console Melania with regards to who the media hates more. Melania delicately insisted, “you ain’t got nothing on me!”

THE AFTER PARTY

After-meal entertainment included a special screening of Pretty Woman. Hollywood producer Arnon Milchan was on hand for an intimate Q&A session after. Following the film, both men puffed away on Cohiba Esplendidos while Melania and Sara braided one another’s hair and traded makeup and decorating tips.

The two leaders watched highlights from today’s news coverage to compare their one liners: “unbridled ambition,” “unbreakable bond,” “more than friends…”

The 150-year-old Bible parting gift given to the Trumps by the Netanyahus ended up left behind, but Bibi promised to drop it off at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Boca residence next month (rumor is there’s a membership in the works). Melania didn’t leave empty handed — she and Sara traded friendship bracelets and swore to remain B.F.F.s.

The evening ended with a goodnight kiss; after all, who would hesitate to return an amicable smooch with great friends? (Just watch out Bibi – some world leaders kiss and tell…)

As the First Couple headed out the door, Bibi grabbed Donald for one more embrace, drew a heart-shaped red line, and whispered, “Together, we will defeat the evils of the world together,” as Sara leaned over to her American counterpart and added, “while we holiday in the Caribbean.”

This satire piece is at least how we imagined it going down. Co Authored by Liz Cohen, writer

About the Author
Leah Stern is the CST: Chief-Story-Teller for OurCrowd, the world's leading hybrid VC crowdfunding platform, which enables accredited investors around the world to invest alongside it in great start ups on the same terms. Stern is also serving as producer and anchor for the Israeli Government Press Office News in Jerusalem, as well as acting as a multi media journalist and content producer for Storyhunter, Yahoo South America, Huffington Post, Miami Herald, Miami New Times, Fisher Island Times, Detroit Jewish News, Jewlicious.com, The Jerusalem Post and The Times of Israel. Stern was formerly the SE Regional Director of NPH USA, a non profit organization that responds to the plight of orphaned and abandoned children in Latin America. Stern has spent the past ten years as an international correspondent in the Middle East as a TV reporter, anchor and editor for IBA News in Jerusalem, Israel's only local English language news program. Stern frequently directed, produced, and filmed news features in Israel for CNN's World Report Program. Stern was embedded with the Israel Defense Forces during Israel's disengagement from Gaza; broadcasted live war reporting during the second Lebanon War from Israel's north; Conducted Inside coverage of Pope John Paul II's Funeral in Rome; Documented a two-day journey in Ethiopia with the Falash Mura. From 2010-2012, Stern was based in Rome, serving as a liaison between the Israeli government and the Vatican, producing content for the world media and social networking avenues, including Vatican TV co productions. Stern is fluent in Hebrew, conversational in Italian, proficient in HD video shooting, SLR photography and editing. Stern graduated with honors, from the University of Miami with a degree in film production and Political Science and studied abroad at the renowned Film, Arts, Music University in Prague.
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