My Smartphone was ringing. My Smartphone was vibrating. Its screen was flashing, excited at the thought that it was about to be swiped. But what should I do? I had had some bad experiences in the past. A casual swipe to the right had brought a comely young lass straight to my doorstep while, after an ill-considered swipe to the left, I had quickly been confronted by a delivery man holding a large portion of well-cooked ham. Alas, I had no use for either of these offerings.
I am reminded of the rather sad Flanders and Swan song, Misalliance, about the doomed love between the right-handed honeysuckle and the left-handed bindweed, and the terrible fate that would await their offshoots.
“Poor little sucker, how will it learn, when it is climbing, which way to turn? Right, left, what a disgrace, or it may go straight up and fall flat on its face!”
Now my Smartphone offers me even more possibilities. Not content with left or right, I am now asked to swipe up or to swipe down. Sometimes I hope that a thief will swipe my phone so I will not have to make these decisions.
(A note for my younger readers – in ancient times, before Smartphones, to swipe meant to steal something.)
But it is easy to take a swipe at the Smartphone when we can no longer live without them. Once we had to carry many swipe cards with information stored on the cards’ magnetic strips. Now, most of these cards’ functions have passed to our Smartphone. However, this is not always a good thing. Just yesterday, my car swiped the side of the garage as I parked while trying to read an important new message that could not have waited for two more minutes.
Here I must take a few moments pause in writing this blog to swipe a fly with an ancient newspaper that I keep handy. You can’t swipe a fly with a smartphone (yet, I am sure someone is working on it).
If you are hungry for food and company, you can use the Swipe Me application. Their mission is to bring together as many college students as possible to share meals. And if you are looking for something to do in your lunchtime, you could play Word Swipe Puzzle, a simple word game for all ages.
If you liked this blog, don’t forget to swipe right ……….