To Yiddin: PLEASE DO NOT PASS Through Our Neighborhood With MATH OR SCIENCE

The persecuted Haredi minority is fighting for its survival. We are in a period of mourning in the Jewish calendar and it appears that Jews were persecuted not only in the past and in exile but here and now in Israel and we need to live with it and overcome it.”
(MK Yisrael Eichler (UTJ), July 25, 2016, on legislation that would require Haredi schools to follow a core curriculum of math, science, English, Jewish history. The legislation was subsequently withdrawn.)

Dear Raboysi,

The Holy One Blessed Be He heard your protests in the streets Mozei Shabbos against the “core curriculum,” and he has shown us his mercy, Baruch Hashem. This week the government reversed its evil decree that would devour our lambs, forcing our children to sit in Cheder and learn the same as secular children who have no fear of The One Above. Don’t be fooled, the forces that made this decree, may their names be erased, have not given up, they will return again and again. We remain in great Secunah.

Like Maimonides, may the memory of the righteous be blessed, I’d like to refute the arguments of those who would destroy us:

These Reshaim say we need math for Parnasa. Tzadikim, we have math, there is tremendous math in Torah; there are the 6 books of the Mishnah, 5 books of the Torah, 4 Mothers, 3 Fathers, two Luchos and 1, One is Hashem. Rav Government Minister, with all due respect, our students spend all day and night on the number One. We study His Oneness. I have seen the inside of the notebooks of the secular Jews. To’hu Va’Vohu. They mix up Arabic numbers with Latin letters … x,y,z, IV, X. This a Roman practice, idol worship, to make these numbers out of letters. To mix milk and meat! To mix wool and linen! Forbidden!

My dear Talmidim, they want that they should teach us English, and we should learn and teach our children this wicked tongue! English! It is necessary to strike this word. Raboysi, we must pity them for they do not understand the ways of the world. The want that the buggy should drive the horse, the chicken will boil the pot, the kugel will eat his fork! Ha! But we must not laugh during these terrible days. Chas V’Shalom. These poor souls, they don’t know, they cannot see, Yiddish is the basis of English!  Do you know the word the gentiles use for babysitter? It is KINDERgarten, my faithful, our word, our holy word Kinderlach! There is no English without Yiddish.

And science, Rabanim, our people have battled science since the world was created. Reshaim would tell you it was before the world was created, as if such a thing is possible. Why must they deny the world was created? That is science. We do not exist according to science. Am I not standing here, right now? Did HaRav Furshlufin’s Ayshes Hayil not bring homemade gefilte fish for a beautiful Kiddush on Shabbos? Shtus, they menace us with Shtus!

Talmudim Chuchamim, hear me. I want to tell you a Meisa. One day many years ago, a visitor came to visit our Yeshiva, our holy Yeshiva. It happened to be that it was during the month of Adar, joyous Adar, may we merit the days to see another moment of joy. Our Yeshiva Buchurim, were dancing, they were singing and dancing, ah the light on their faces during the month of Adar. Bridegrooms, each one. Now this visitor, he was the Rosh Yeshiva of a school for seculars, what Tsures! He said to me, “Rav, your Buchurim are so joyous. My Buchurim are miserable. They are all high on drugs. What is your secret?” I answered this Rosh of Seculars, poor soul, “My Bucharim are high too [gasp] … high on Torah! It is Torah which gives them this joy” … and a shtickle schnaps never hurts!

We are a light onto nations, my followers, we are all the light in this world.

May we be comforted with the mourners of Zion and may Moshiach come speedily in our days,

Roshei Gates of Torah, Jerusalem

About the Author
Shelley Klein is spending this year in Tel Aviv with her family. She recently completed her tenure as Executive Director of Congregation Beth Elohim (CBE) in Park Slope, Brooklyn. In prior years, she was the National Director of Programs for Hadassah. Shelley received a JD from the University of Pennsylvania Law School and a BA in Politics from Brandeis University. Shelley’s permanent home is in Greenpoint, Brooklyn.