To’ameiha: A foretaste of Shabbat or a four-course buffet?
Rabbi. I was with friends over Shabbat and went to a different shul to daven Friday night. I was surprised to find that while a small number were in shul davening Mincha, most of the crowd were in the lobby partaking of a lavish buffet. I thought one doesn’t eat a lot just prior to Shabbat? By the way, it was an Orthodox shul! What’s the story? Sam B.
Dear Sam,
You do well to ask!
Of late, two questionable Shabbat practices – I shrink from calling them minhagim – have sprung up in certain shuls. One is the Shabbat morning “Kiddush Club” which takes place in the shul foyer after the leyening. Schnapps, cake, herring and pickles are its staple gastronomic feature, with the stress on the schnapps. It is sometimes described as a men’s bonding experience. Some rabbis will tolerate it as it – arguably – brings some men to shul who wouldn’t otherwise come. Most rabbis heartily disapprove of it. Even when it takes the form of a quick l’chaim, it is disrespectful to the reading of the Haftara, it is disruptive – congregants are likely to re-enter in the middle of the rabbi’s d’rasha – and it is cliquey and divisive. In short, it is almost bound to result in Men Behaving Badly. It is a mystery to me how such a practice was ever able to develop in Orthodox shuls.
But that wasn’t your question. You ask about a practice called to’ameiha. Its name is actually borrowed from a very noble and time-hallowed minhag which some trace back to the Mishna (see Succa 2:5) of tasting the Shabbat food prior to Shabbat, ostensibly to ensure that it is appetising and not under- or over-seasoned. The source for the name is the phrase in Musaph: to’ameiha chayim zakhu – “those who taste it (the ‘flavor’ of Shabbat) will merit [long] life”. While undoubtedly the reference is primarily to the spirit of Shabbat, its literal meaning was not eschewed. R’ Avraham Gombiner (1633-1683), the Magen Avraham (OC 250:1), as well as R’ Shneur Zalman of Liadi (1745-1812) (Shulchan Arukh haRav, OC 250:8) maintain that it is a mitsva (in the loose sense of a good practice) to taste all the Shabbat foods on the preceding afternoon – the emphasis being on the word “taste” as halakha disallows eating substantially from mid-afternoon onwards on Erev Shabbat.. R’ Yechiel Michel Epstein (1829-1908), the Arukh haShulkhan, frowns upon eating substantial meals on Friday altogether.
Which is why the contemporary practice that has taken over the name of to’ameiha in some shuls has raised more than a few rabbinic eyebrows!
I was first introduced to the idea very gently eleven years ago. I was in London visiting my sick father. (It turned out to be the last Shabbat of his life.) I was in the familiar surroundings of his shul in Newbury Park, Essex. On arrival on Friday afternoon, I was greeted and offered a choice of high-end malt and smoky whiskies prior to Mincha. As the stress of daily prolonged hospital visits had taken its toll, I was actually glad of the calming l’chaim (just one) in which I indulged, and it proved a welcome gateway to Kabbalat Shabbat.
All this is a far cry from what you, Sam, experienced. Were it to be just a canape or two, a small piece of fruit, an olive, a carrot or celery stick and a small schnapps on offer in a controlled environment, it would be in the spirit of the to’ameiha, the “foretaste” of Shabbat, whetting the appetite for the post-davvening Friday night se’uda (mitsva meal). Indeed, if there are kehilot that do to’ameiha on this modest scale, tavo aleihem berakha!
However, I too have sadly witnessed scores of congregants in shul foyers prior to the Friday evening services, unwilling to tear themselves away from the huge variety of comestibles and spirits/liqueurs on offer while in shul a handful of men wait to start Mincha with a minyan, often not succeeding in doing so until after the proper time of shkia (sunset), the sushi proving more compelling than the siddur. Fortified more by the spirit of the whiskey than the spirit of the davening, the decorum, once congregants have finally assumed their pews, is non-existent as the socialising continues in shul. And not to put too fine a point on it, halachically there is a major problem with eating and drinking prior to formal kiddush once Shabbat is in.
Some rabbis and shul presidents will argue that offering pre-Shabbat food and a l’chaim is a great way to get people into shul who may not otherwise come. While this may be true, a modest array of ‘tasters’ on the lines I have suggested above is surely all that is required. Plus a ‘curfew’ at least five minutes prior to the start of the service – or the start of Shabbat – when all food and drink must be cleared away.
During the recent challenging COVID-19 period, one important positive lesson was nevertheless learned. The home, even more than the synagogue, occupies centre stage in Judaism. While the enhanced communal l’chaims and kiddushim can be a prized social outlet particularly for the burgeoning number of older singles, divorcees and widowed, what is needed more are clockwork-functioning hospitality committees ensuring the alone and the lonely are invited to Shabbat tables and that no-one need feel isolated from the sanctuary where the most meaningful Shabbat experiences, both social and spiritual, can play out – that sanctuary being the Sabbath-keeping Jewish family home!