‘Today was On the Face!’

HUH? What in the world does he mean with that title? What is “on the face”?

In honor of Purim, continue reading and see how many Hebrew expressions and words are translated directly into English and how funny they appear in that fashion…enjoy! (Hebrew equivalent words listed under the post…try to do this without peeking first!)

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I remember the day well; it really was on the face (1). When I first woke up, I really thought it would be in order (2), but as it turned out it was a waste of time(3).

I arrived at the office and saw what looked like a pretty(4) piece of cake on the table. Then, I put my heart(5) that someone was working on me(6). It was not cake at all! It was just a plastic blob that others wanted me to think was cake. Just then, Dave walked in and looked at my face and said “plaiiiiin!”(7) At first, I was angry on him but after a few minutes, I commented: “Biiiig! (8) You really worked on me! (9) Waste of time!” (10)

After that first, disappointing incident, I decided to flow(11) and see if I could also work on someone. And I knew exactly who I would work on: Yonatan! After all, he truly lives in a movie (12)and will not have any idea what I was up to.

I devised a plan and put it into action right away. A few minutes later, I saw Yonatan and greeted him. “What is heard?!” (13) And he was surprised that someone actually chatted with him. He was used to being ignored by most people. But, not today…today was to be HIS day…or so he thought. It was time to put my plan into action.

We walked together into the copy room. I asked him to print to (14)me some x-rays (15) and to bring them by hand to the reminder.(16) (He was not aware that the copy machine was not working…but I certainly was aware!) He tried and triedת but it was useless. He could not get the machine to print nothing. From frustration, he yelled to me in a very tall voice: “Possible some help?”(17) He asked me return and return,(18) until I finally screamed at him: “Stop digging!!” (19)

And, it worked end end! (20) This poor guy, Yonatan, who seemingly just walked with heaviness through the day with almost no emotion was finally made to show some emotion. I told him to chill out and that I would to help him.

It is extra (21) to note that he was not happy with me, when I sent him on a wasted blessing.(22) But, after a short time, we were laughing together and he had calmed down.

The thing that makes funny is that at last, we have become good friends as a result of this little story.

Well, I guess we have arrived at the end of the way and my little story will end here. I hope that you enjoyed it, as much as I did. As you can see, translating straight from Hebrew to English can be a bit crazy-ing. But if your approach is that you are willing to flow, then even these little “errors” will be disappeared. Feel free to add your own reactions to this.

Perhaps others will read them and exclaim “THERE IS!” (23)           

  1. על הפנים
  2. בסדר
  3. על הפנים
  4. יפה
  5. לשים לב
  6. עובד עלי
  7. סתתתתתם
  8. גדול
  9. עבד עלי
  10. חבל על הזמן
  11. לזרום
  12. חי בסרט
  13. מה נשמע
  14. להדפיס לי
  15. צילום
  16. מזכיר
  17. אפשר עזרה
  18. שוב ושוב
  19. למה אתה חופר
  20. סוף סוף
  21. מיותר
  22. ברכה לבטלה
  23. יש
About the Author
After living in Chicago for 50 years, the last 10 of which Zev Shandalov served as a shul Rav and teacher in local Orthodox schools, his family made Aliya to Maale Adumim in July 2009. Shandalov currently works as a teacher, mostly interacting with individual students.
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