Benji Lovitt
Because the Middle East is Funny

Top 10 Reasons Xmas Sucks in Israel

10. It’s hard to fill stockings when they’re hanging on the drying rack all winter.

9. Our Chinese food is terrible.

8. “Ruti, the Red-Haired Freicha” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

7. You can’t deliver presents when Santa’s elves are always on strike.

6. If you set up a manger scene outside your building, the municipality tries to tax you on it.

5. The reindeer get confused when they can’t find any chimneys.

4. When you knock on a door to sing Christmas carols, a security guard pops out and asks to search your bag.

3. If you put up a Christmas tree, 85% of Tel Aviv dogs will pee on it.

2. Every taxi driver claims to be one of the three wise men.

1. Santa keeps getting shot down by the Iron Dome.

Merry Christmas to all!

Benji Lovitt will be performing at Limmud UK from December 27-31, 2015. See his schedule here.

About the Author
Since making aliyah in 2006, Benji Lovitt has performed stand-up comedy and educational programs for groups including Jewish Federations, synagogues, Masa Israel Journey, and Birthright Israel. His perspectives on aliyah and Israeli society have been featured on Israeli TV and radio and in publications such as USA Today, Time Magazine, the BBC, and more. During 2014's Operation Protective Edge, his humorous observations on the war led to his being called in Israel "the only reason to go on Facebook.”
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