Tu B’av – The Story of Jewish Resilience

While in modern Israeli culture, the 15th of Av (Tu B’av) is widely celebrated as a type of Valentine’s Day and referred to as Yom HaAhavah (Day of Love), its significance runs much deeper, personifying Jewish resilience that has defined its character throughout history.

The Gemara in Taanis (30b) explains that we celebrate Tu B’av as several positive events occurred on that day.

Tu B’av was the day Bnei Yisrael finally stopped dying in the desert. It was the day that the tribe of Binyamin was allowed to marry into other tribes following the events of Pilegesh Be’Givah (The Concubine of Givah) (see Shoftim Ch. 21), the day that King Hoshea rescinded the earlier decree of King Yeravam, who prohibited those living in the Kingdom of Israel from traveling to Jerusalem. It was also the day that the Jews were finally able to bury those who were killed in Betar many years earlier during the Bar Kochva revolt.

Despite these disparate events, there seems to be a clear theme among them all.

Tu B’av is the day we commemorate our rebirth and resilience following terrible tragedy.

After the sins of the Golden Calf and Spies, tragedy befell Bnei Yisrael, where they had to spend the next 40 years in the desert while the entire generation of adult men aged 20 through 60 died out. After the last person died, they were then ready to pick up the broken pieces and move forward to enter the Land of Israel with Yehoshua.

Similarly, the Tribe of Binyamin was almost entirely wiped out following their actions by the events of Pilegesh Be’Givah. The rest of the Jewish people then came together and allowed everyone else to marry into their tribe to rebuild and revive their tribe from near extinction.

While the Jews suffered a terrible defeat in Betar against the Romans (whose fortifications can still be seen today by the outskirts of the village of Batir), we commemorate the day that they were able to finally be reached safely for burial many years later, giving us some solace following their mass murder.

It is also the day that women would lend clothing to each other, especially from the rich to the poor, and higher society to lower society, to make themselves available and appealing for marriage (Taanis 31). Despite their financial difficulties, they looked to build families.

On a similar note, the Gemara (Taanis 30b) compares Tu B’av to Yom Kippur. Following the sins of the Spies and the Golden Calf, God forgave the Jews and said that he wouldn’t destroy them (Bamidbar 14:20). They would be able to restart their future. That day was Yom Kippur. Yom Kippur, like Tu B’av, was a day that offered the opportunity for rebirth and rebuilding following tragedy.

Tu B’av is the day that tells us to not wallow in despair and remain in a state of depression. It is the day that tells us that despite our tragedies, which we have had too many to count, there is a future that is worth building.

It is no coincidence that Tu B’av falls out several days after Tisha B’av, which is the day that commemorates all of our tragedies. The message is that while it is proper to mourn and cry, it is just as important to not fall into depression and despair. Instead, it is now time to be resilient and build anew.

Modern-day Israel exemplifies this mindset as well. Israel is one of the most, if not the most, resilient countries in the world.

Despite millennia of persecution, the Jewish people have been able to stay above water and even thrive when given the opportunity. Israel itself, being reestablished several years after the Holocaust, is one of the most profound expressions of our resilience.

Despite finding itself surrounded by enemies since its rebirth, forced to fight countless wars, Israel is constantly ranked as one of the happiest countries in the world, even after October 7 (see https://data.worldhappiness.report/table).

How is this possible?

Engrained in the Jewish psyche is the idea of never letting tragedy define us. While we experience unbearable pain, we pause, reflect, and always find ways to rebuild.

The Jewish people’s resilience is also expressed in their high birth rate. Israel has the highest birth rate in the OECD, with nearly twice the rate of the next closest country (https://www.taubcenter.org.il/en/research/why-are-there-so-many-children-in-israel/)

The desire for our personal and communal rebirth and future cuts across the secular and religious divide.

Despite all of the difficulties we face, there is something very special about being part of the Jewish people, and especially to be part of the Jewish people in Israel.

This year, Tu B’av coincides with Shabbat Nachamu, where Hashem commands Yeshayahu (Yeshayahu 40:1): “נַחֲמ֥וּ נַחֲמ֖וּ עַמִּ֑י  “Comfort, comfort My people.”

My hope is that we can spend some part of Tu B’av reflecting on our history, taking pride in our story of perseverance through difficult times, understanding that comfort will occur, and working toward that goal with never-ending resilience and faith.