Tu Be’Av: Not a Jewish Valentine’s Day

It says in the Talmud: The mishna taught that Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel said: There were no days as happy for the Jewish people as the fifteenth of Av and as Yom Kippur. The Gemara asks: Granted, Yom Kippur is a day of joy because it has the elements of pardon and forgiveness, and moreover, it is the day on which the last pair of tablets were given. However, what is the special joy of the fifteenth of Av?

Well, I’m a little confused. On Yom Kippur there is compassion and forgiveness, we know that, but the Torah? didn’t we get that on Shavu’ot?

Actually, on the 6^th of Sivan, Shavu’ot, we experienced the Giving of the Torah event, but we really didn’t get anything on that day. Moshe stayed on the mountain for 40 days and 40 nights and came down on the 17th of Tammuz. This day was supposed to be a “holiday to Gd”, as Aaron the high priest said, but instead, Moshe broke the tablets and it became a day of chaos.

Moshe then stayed with the people for 40 days, until the first of the month of Elul, then in the month of forgiveness and atonement, he went up to the mountain for another 40 days, and returned with the second tablets on the day of the “Giving of the Torah” day, which is not Shavuot as we might have thought, but rather, 10th of Tishrei, Yom Kippur!

And the 15^th (T”u) in Av?

Let’s start with what it’s not: Tu Be’Av is not a Jewish Valentine’s Day. For one, we have no holy saint in charge of this day, except of course, for the holiness of life. So what is it?

According to the Mishnah, on this day “the young ladies of Israel would go out and dance in the vineyards” (Ta’anit 31:a), and then they would probably make matches, although it is hard to believe that they “just” took girls from the vineyards…? Unlikely. Maybe it was more of this year’s annual celebration? Perhaps.

Either way, we will still have to ask, why on this day? Why shouldn’t you make matches every other day? Or, simply, every day? What is there about this date that makes it special?

In tractate Rosh Hashanah (10:b), Rabbi Eliezer and Rabbi Yehoshua disagree on the question of when the world was created: Rabbi Eliezer says that the world was created on the first day of Tishrei, and Rabbi Yehoshua says that the world was created on the first day of Nisan. The day in question is the day of the creation of human. That is, the whole world and the moment when it was said “Let there be light” was 6 days earlier. According to Rabbi Eliezer – 25 of Elul, and according to Rabbi Yehoshua – 25 of Adar.

Kdushat Levi points that in tractate Sota (2:a) we have a statement that “forty days before the creation of a child, a voice comes out and says from such and such (soul, goes) to such and such”… that is, that before the action there is a thought, and this thought begins 40 days before. If we follow Rabbi Eliezer’s approach, we will find that 40 days earlier, this is the 15th day of Av, Tu Be’Av, whereas, if we go with Rabbi Yehoshua, we will find that 40 days before creation, there was a 15th day of Shvat, i.e. – Tu Bishvat, two dates in our calendar especially suitable for connection, growth, and love!

Rabbi Eliezer also said about this day, “It is from the 15^th of Av and onward, that the sun’s energy weakens a bit”, that is, Rabbi Eliezer is perhaps acting here as the first weather forecaster. How does he know that as of the 15^th of Av, the sun is starting to weaken a bit?

We will do another calculation with our calendar: Ideally, the 1^st of Tishrei, Rosh Hashanah falls on the day of the equinox, that is, September 21. The 15^th of Av is 6 weeks before the 1^st of Tishrei, that is, exactly at the midpoint between the longest day and the day of the equinox.

If so, from here on, we begin to approach autumn. Of course, it will still be hot, even very hot, but we are getting the first hints: birds we haven’t seen are here; and some clouds above the horizon, and hopefully, a little less “heat” in all aspects of our lives…

The sages also teach us in the Midrash (Lamentations Rabbah) that in the desert, the 9^th of Av was a day of national mourning. Every year for almost 40 years, it was the day when those whose time had come to leave the world, died. But, once the Children of Israel entered the Land of Israel, the day of Tisha Be’Av turned from a day of fasting and torment, into a holiday – the holiday of entering the Land. Such a holiday would surely last for for 7 days like Pesach and Sukkot (and other periods when we mark time in our tradition), and it would have ended with a particularly happy and wonderful holiday, in the heart of this month, on the 15^th of Av, we would have a holiday in which we rejoice in our renewed life and living in the Land. 

As everyone says nowadays, “these are tough times”, and yet, whatever we do and wherever we are, may we make space to celebrate what we do have here, for it is still so much.