Tu B’shevat and Valentine’s day; luck and love

Everyone said David was very lucky. When his grandfather had died David had inherited a sailboat, an expensive car and lots of money. Two years later when David’s grandmother died David inherited a big house and lots of jewelry. Because he lived in a big house, and had a sailboat, and an expensive car and lots of money, there were lots of girls who liked David. Everyone said that David was a very lucky young man.

But David didn’t think so. David thought he was very unlucky. All the girls that he fell in love with turned out to be wrong for him. He married one beautiful girl and then got divorced when he realized that she was very stubborn, self-centered and materialistic.

He broke his engagement with another beautiful girl who was very jealous, liked to drink too much, and was mean and nasty to his parents. As the years went by and he was unable to find the right woman David began to despair of ever becoming a happily married man.

One day David’s mother told him that part of his problem was that he was looking for the wrong kind of women in all the wrong places. “You always go to parties or bars or clubs where they drink a lot and smoke” his mother said. “You always run after beautiful women instead of seeking a kind, goodhearted woman who is flexible, intelligent and a faithful Jew.”

His mother had been saying things like that for years but David had never paid any attention to her before. Now he realized that she was right. Finding a good wife was more important than finding a beautiful one. Maybe his bad luck with women was his fault because he was looking for the wrong things.

David decided to join some organizations that did charitable work to meet people who would be more likely to be kind and giving. He joined a group that raised moony to plant trees in Israel and personally planted trees in their own communities.

David also decided to attend some classes and book discussion groups to find people who were interested in talking about human responsibilities and deepening their spiritual understanding of the meaning of life.

The women he met in these places were very different from those he had met in bars. These women were haimish/unpretentious, giving, and concerned about others. They were not cynical, skeptical, selfish or materialistic. David felt he was making progress.

One day he decided that he would ask the teachers and leaders of these groups to fix him up with a woman they thought would be good for him. This worked out very well. David then decided that he would ask the Rabbi of the congregation where his parents belonged to fix him up.

The Rabbi spent over an hour talking to David. A week later the Rabbi called David and gave him the names of two women. After he had met each of them a few times the Rabbi gave him two more names. The fourth one was THE ONE.

Of course, David didn’t know that in the beginning. You have to do a lot of talking and sharing before you know who will be the ONE for you. But in less than a year David knew.

She was not as beautiful as his first wife was, or as cute as the girl he had been engaged to, but she was good for him.

When he called the Rabbi to make arraignments to get married the Rabbi told David that he was a fortunate man to have her for his wife.

David agreed. “People used to tell me I was lucky because I inherited wealth and a big house from my grandparents, but I never felt lucky because I wasn’t lucky in love. Now I know how lucky I am.”

“You aren’t just lucky,” said the Rabbi, “you are fortunate. The Bible says, A house and wealth can be inherited from parents
but a perceptive wife
is a gift from God.”
(Proverbs 19:14)

About the Author
Rabbi Allen S. Maller has published over 250 articles on Jewish values in over a dozen Christian, Jewish, and Muslim magazines and web sites. Rabbi Maller is the author of "Tikunay Nefashot," a spiritually meaningful High Holy Day Machzor, two books of children's short stories, and a popular account of Jewish Mysticism entitled, "God, Sex and Kabbalah." His most recent books are "Judaism and Islam as Synergistic Monotheisms' and "Which Religion Is Right For You?: A 21st Century Kuzari" both available on Amazon.
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