Two tales of mistreatment

Tale #1: Ford, GM, Chrysler, and the UAW

I grew up in Detroit. Dave, a prominent member of our synagogue, was a mediator between the United Auto Workers and the Big Three car manufacturers. Let’s imagine that Dave helped negotiate this deal between the car manufacturers and the union:

If you build our cars faithfully, forge the chassis, bolt on the axles, attach the wheels, drop in the transmission, insert the gas tank, place the engine block, fill the radiator, and deal with all of the 613 parts needed to make a car, we promise that:

• You will be our chosen workers
• We will increase your numbers
• All who are from outside the union will not get our attention
• You will have health (insurance), lunch (breaks), and health and safety (inspectors)

And let’s say that one day the car manufacturers announce that they will flood the factory floors with workers who are not of the union. What would happen next?

The workers would shut it down. They would not forge the chassis, bolt on the axles, attach the wheels, drop in the transmission, insert the gas tank, place the engine block, fill the radiator, or deal with all of the 613 parts needed to make a car.

You can probably figure out where this is going, so unless you have a firm handle on your faith and can handle a healthy dose of cynicism, just stop reading here and move on to something lighter. Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.

Here are the promises made to us by God, if we give up false gods and keep His commandments:

• You will be my chosen people.
• I will increase your numbers until there are more of you than there are grains of sand, or stars, whichever is greater.
• I will defeat your enemies.
• You will live independently in your land, in peace. Also, grape vines and fig trees.

How’s that deal working out for us? We stopped worshipping idols, even when there’s no rain. We celebrate Shabbat and holidays, avoid pork, pray. We take care of the poor.

Where are the Jews too numerous to count? Where is the peace? Where is protection from our enemies?

It is time to go on strike. I suggest immediate cessation of every positive commandment we usually perform.

No more laying tefillin, tithing produce, taking challah, counting the omer, taking the lulav, praying, saying tehillim, saying blessings over food, Pesach seder, hours of Rosh Hashana prayers, building a sukkah, sitting in a sukkah, eating in a sukkah. Full stop until things get better. The other approach has failed us, and it’s time to show management that we mean business.

Tale #2 The Abused Wife

This is just so horrible, I can’t even write it. The point is, she should leave him, but she keeps going back to him for more abuse while, at the same time, begging for forgiveness. That’s us. Every single #$@!% time. Slichot, anyone?